Linda Raisch-Lopez – September 11, 2011
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In a few days, it will be the 10th anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks, a day that shook the United States to its core…a day that both traumatized us and united us.   

I am a survivor from the 97th floor of Two World Trade Center (the second tower that was hit).  I worked as a business analyst for a private wealth management firm, Fiduciary Trust Company.  I lost 86 of my friends and colleagues that day, people I knew well and spent more time with than my own family.  I worked there for 8 years, taking the job after the 1993 attack, with the thought that ‘lightning can’t strike twice’.  I liked my job, the people I worked with, and the view.  How many people get to work up that high?  It was magnificent.   I was in awe.  I loved the World Trade Center.  I was on top of the world.  

But things changed.   In one fateful moment, all that changed.  Almost everyone has or will experience a traumatic event in their lives.  People get in car accidents every day. They receive news that a loved one has died.  They hear that they have cancer.   I’m no different than anyone else, except that I nearly lost my life in an event that everyone was watching live.  We were all traumatized…I was just a little closer to the source of it, that’s all.  

For the curious, I am not involved in any legal battles, have not sued anyone, have not received any money relating to 9/11.  Even though I lost my job after 9/11 (my position was outsourced and I was laid off), I was fortunate to find work consistently since then, and for that I am grateful.  It has not been easy, but I’ve been lucky. 

After 9/11, I was obsessed with how the people I knew perished, why did I get out safely, and why didn’t they?  I wanted answers.  I wanted to know why it happened.  For years, I had neurological problems, which manifested itself in head and body twitches.  I stopped smiling.  I wanted to go back and be the person I used to be.  I hated the new ‘me’.   

I tried to find ways to cure myself.  I saw a therapist briefly.  I am a Catholic, and while not devout, I went through a period where I attended church often and felt very connected.  I also went through a period of anger and frustration, because each year since 2001, life got progressively more difficult.  I finally came to a realization that even though life is hard, it is still good to be alive, and that no matter how bad today is, tomorrow will be better (even if that ‘tomorrow’ is years away), and that there is always something to be grateful for.  After 10 years, I am smiling again.  It was a long road to get here, but I finally can feel happiness again. 

There will always be things that will bother me.  To this day, I cannot listen to “Amazing Grace” without falling apart, and "Over the Rainbow" makes me cry, as the song reminds me of souls going to heaven, and the people that I miss.   There is one positive that entered my life because of 9/11.  Since that time, my family and I resolved ourselves to give back and started volunteering, at the local level and internationally.  Performing community service has become a very important part of my family’s life.  

While I have worked in midtown Manhattan off and on over the last 10 years, this past summer I started working downtown for the first time since 9/11, and was surprised at my reaction.  I thought I buried my demons long ago, but having to be at the WTC site everyday caused all the old emotions to start bubbling to the surface.  Memories came flooding back.  I guess it never completely goes away.  I looked at all the people around me, construction workers mingling with office workers and police officers, troops with machine guns, tourists with luggage, cameras and bewildered looks upon their faces, families with children in strollers.  How do you explain what happened there to a child?  To anyone?   

Still, if I had to, I would work in the new World Trade Center buildings.  If I don't move ahead and fight every day, then the terrorists win, and I am not going to let that happen.  I believe that one of our most potent weapons is our ability to go about our daily lives.  The United States is a beacon of light for the world.  If we fail, what hope does the world have?  

What are my plans for the 10th anniversary?  I will spend the day with my family, remembering the people who died.  I will be participating in our town’s annual memorial event and attending the memorial ceremony that the company I was working for at the time is planning.  A week later, I will be visiting the WTC Memorial.   And shortly thereafter, I am going to volunteer as a tour guide for the WTC Tribute Center, so I can share my story.   

Ten years ago, I wrote an article for the Secaucus Home News detailing how I escaped.  Ten long years have passed, and when we think of September 11, or any tragic event, we should not only pray for the people that died, but also remember them for how they lived.  All the office workers, the first responders, the plane crews and passengers, all the civilians and military personnel around the world that have perished since then, because of that event…they loved and were loved.  They are missed.  Their passing has left a void.  So, while you can, remember to hug your loved ones as often as you can and tell them you love them.  You never know what the day holds, good or bad.  And always remember that even in our darkest hours, there is always the promise of a better tomorrow. 
For those interested in viewing the timeline of events, the National 9/11 Memorial has published an interactive website.  I contributed the shoes I wore that day, and they are on display at the 9:15am marker:  http://timeline.national911memorial.org/