Dagger 21 Posted February 27, 2007 Redneck Church > > You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the finance > committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier > because none of the members knows how to play one. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if.....people ask, when > they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or > catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. > > You Know Your Church is a Redneck Church if....when the Pastor > says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Five guys > and two women stand up. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if....opening day of > deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if....a member of the > church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It > ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if....the choir is known > as the "OK Chorale". > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if....in a congregation > of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church > directory. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if....Baptism is > referred to as branding". > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if...high notes on the > organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if...people think > "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if....the baptismal pool > is a #2 galvanized washtub. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if...the choir robes > were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's > Barbecue. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if...the collection > plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if...instead of a bell, > you are called to service by a duck call. > > You Know Your Church is a Redneck Church if...the minister and > his wife drive matching pickup trucks. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if...the communion wine > is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink". > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if..."Thou shalt not > covet" applies to hunting dogs, too. > > You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if...the final words of > the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now!! Ya Hear". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+pcpilot 181 Posted February 28, 2007 Im going to post this at my church here in Montana; good one Dagger. PS. Still cleaning milk off my monitor... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SayethWhaaaa 245 Posted February 28, 2007 Do Southerners really exist? I just thought all these scary hick stories (I'm talking deliverance scary ) were a means of keeping us annoying tourist types outta the South where all the good food, hot women and rest of your cool stuff is. Last time I was in the US, never even spotted or spoke to a Southener... It wasn't for a lack of trying either! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+pcpilot 181 Posted March 1, 2007 Yes, we do exist, though the true "southern way of life" is'nt always easy to apprehend these days with everyone speaking like newscasters, political correctness rampant, and folks often too busy to be polite anymore. However, glad to say, it is still out there. Dont let the hick stories worry you, there are oddballs whereever you go; try L.A. one of these days, lol. Keep in mind too that the term "redneck" is often looked at by folks who live in the country north or south as a compliment. It comes from blue-collar laborers proudly earning their money outdoors, like farmers, construction, oil rig roustabouts, etc. Jeff Foxworthy said it best when he called it a "glorious lack of sophistication"...I always liked that. So sit back on your porch after a hard days work, wave to your neighbors, have a coke in the bottle half filled with ice, and listen for the wife to hollar suppers' ready; that means fried chicken, mashed taters and gravy, and an ice cold watermelon! Then later on, sleep comes easy in Gods country... PS. I might also point out that that good flag whom so many like to equate with racsism these days, still stands for freedom, pride, and honor to some of us, even to this day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dagger 21 Posted March 1, 2007 Jeff Foxworthy said it best when he said"Be proud if you are one and I are one"I concider it a compliment to be called one.I also have to admit that I fit the profile of driving pick ups with lift kits and big tires,and gun racks,I listen to country and bluegrass music,and oh my gosh I play the banjo! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
