The story begins

[Red-Dog]

First draught of the comic..

http://red-dog.synthasite.com/

Edited May 6, 2009 by Red-Dog

[Hauksbee]

First draught of the comic..

http://red-dog.synthasite.com/

Good start. Needs more panels though, and bigger type in the balloons. What are you going to do about pilots, people etc.?

[steve58]

Looks great and I look forward to the rest! Maybe make the dialog text a bit bigger? Lots of old far...eh visually challenged readers (e.g., me) here I think :yes:

 

..and yeah what Hauksbee said...

Edited May 6, 2009 by steve58

[Hiccup]

That's neat Red-Dog, looking forward to the continuation of your story. Is this going to be a weekly strip where at the end of each strip there is a cliff hanger and we then have to wait for the next week to find out what happened?

Like Steve58 said though, It would help if the dialog text was a little bigger. Good job.

[+Dej]

Good start. Needs more panels though, and bigger type in the balloons. What are you going to do about pilots, people etc.?

 

Agree with that. Maybe an inset to break up the rectangularity - panel 4 would be a good candidate. The last panel is the best, composition-wise, the rule of thirds doesn't apply only to photography. You will have a big problem with introducing characters unless you can find a good source in an FPS mod or something. World of WorldWarOneCraft anyone

 

Excellent start, mind, and an inspired thought to start one. I look forward to more.

[UK_Widowmaker]

Cool m8..looking forward to more..the comic technique really works...but yes..bigger bubbles and panels would add a bit

[JohnGresham]

First draught of the comic..

http://red-dog.synthasite.com/

 

This is a good idea, but I can only really echo what's already been said about the speech bubbles and the layout/compositions. It really needs to be more character based and driven to become gripping and that means constructing histories and personalities for your pilots as well as finding images of them that you can manipulate in photoshop. You could try using framegrabs from existing films like The Blue Max and Aces High to consturct some of the images of the characters/situations involved I suppose, but you'll need to be careful about copyright infringement.