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UK_Widowmaker

OT..A Joke for the Weekend

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GOTTA PEE

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.

Both were very faithful and loving wives, however

They had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in

the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought She would take off

her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive Pair of panties and

did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave That had a wreath

with a ribbon on it,

so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally

sweet and innocent wife

was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:

'These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.

My wife came home with no panties!!'

'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card

stuck to her ass that Said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station.

We'll never forget you.'' :grin:

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Many Christmas parties in the bars and restaurants I'm tasked to look after, lots of deliveries, with trucks, vans, musicians, even a mobile photo booth! Three incident reports, burning footage to three CD's. Five hours into my 8 hour shift before I get to relax a bit, and I log onto CombatAce and saw this.

 

Thanks UK Widowmaker. Made me laugh when I really needed it!

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Hi, let me throw in mine. Two CIDs (criminal investigation div) of Indonesia were transiting country x I where I had been some four hours flight to their previous posts (1 year assignment) with the United Nation Peace Keeping Force.

 

During their first six month tour of duty, their direct boss a 1-star cop from Jakarta was visiting the small team. The team knew very well that the boss enjoyed very much "riding white horse" whenever he got the chances to go overseas on "state-duty" (paid by the tax-payers!), and that the boss enjoyed very much golfing too!

 

So, first evening the boss was asking (whispering definitely!) one of the team member a young captain in the police force, if he could help him (the boss) find a "white horse".

 

"But boss, no 'white horse" here. Only locals, with dark skin boss!" "Ahh, whatever, find me one; as long as she is a foreigner."

 

Briefly, there was an outage in that part of X continent a former commie nation. So, his room in the best hotel in town was in total darkness, yet he could feel the warmth his "lady" local tho not to his best liking "the white horse".

 

He was sooo horny, he did not gave her enough time for a "warming up".

 

Remember guys, it was pitch dark due to outage in the city. So, does that make any difference whether her lady was a "white horse" or "dark one"? It was the FEEL that really counts, man.

 

First five minutes he could swear to "GD" he heard already she was moaning, and said "Mololo! Mololo! Mololo!, every time he "planted his so-and-so".

 

Birefly, he made it in 10 minutes time, and paid her handsomely (tax-payers' money man?) in crispy USD.

 

It was Saturday morning the next day, so off he went to a local golf-course accompanied by the same young police captain.

 

The brigadier general could see that the entire caddy, male or otherwise were all "dark-skin" fellows. Briefly, he started with his first shot. Wooosh! The little white (golfing) ball travelled some 300 yards. The first of 18 holes.

 

A former commie country, the golf-course obviously lacked proper maintanence. So many brown field rats made holes here and there.

 

His ball missed the green, some 15 yards from the hole in the center of the first green. So, he must hit the golfing ball from outside of the green, and must make an attempt to direct the ball with his "iron" to the hole at the first green

 

He calculated the distance, and boom he hit the little ball. Yes! Yes! It entered nto a HOLE! But, the "dark skin" male caddy said loudly, "Mololo, general!"

 

So he tried again from an other angle, but again the caddy said even louder, "Mololo! Mololo!"

 

And the cop general really got pissed off now, and quite angrily asked the caddy, "What mololo stands for man!"

 

"It is the local language for WRONG HOLE, general.......... (He though he was a great lover -- moron)

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