Ballistic Santa

[+Typhoid]

Since the Santa Nativity Aviation was blocked -

 

its time to wake up Ceasar on the mid-watch!

 

 

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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,

Missile defenses were up, with electronic eyes.

MDA staffers were nestled in ready-room beds,

As successful IFTs danced in their heads.

 

Every GBI in its hole, each PAC-3 in its tube,

Was doubly-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,

And UEWR and COBRA DANE gave coverage so dense

That nothing that flew could slip through our defense!

 

When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter

I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter;

I increased the gain and then, quick as a flash,

Fine-adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.

 

And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded:

An incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.

"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,

As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE!"

 

On Aegis! Up Patriot, use GMD, and the full 04 Block,

And scramble our fighters--let's send the whole flock!

Launch decoys and missiles, use chaff by the yard!

Get the ABL up! Call out the National Guard!

 

They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged.

Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,

And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,

As the foe met his fate in that high arctic night.

 

So we sent out some recon to look for debris,

Yet all that they found, using SATCOM and C2BMC,

Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,

Broken sleigh bells, white hair, and a deer's parachute!

 

Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.

There are unhappy kids in each village and town.

For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade

All the web of defenses we've carefully made.

 

But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,

All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.

So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,

For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!!!

 

NOTE:

Many years ago, in some radar Ops room far away, an "Air Defense" version of "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" was penned by an air defender whose name has been lost to history. This is the somewhat modified poem to a Missile Defense version (with apologies to Clement Moore).

[Darrin]

this is sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!