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navychief

The World's Best Hypnotist

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Subject: Amazing Claude

 

 

It was opening night at the Orpheum. The Amazing Claude topped the bill.

 

People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

 

 

As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who

 

invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I

 

intend to hypnotize each and every member of this audience."

 

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique

 

pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this

 

antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six

 

generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while

 

quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch ..."

 

 

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light

 

gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the

 

swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and

 

fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

 

"S.h.i.t!" said the hypnotist.

 

 

 

 

It took three weeks to clean up the theater.

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THat's about as bad as this blonde joke I heard the other day......

 

I blonde police officer pulls over another blonde for speeding. She approaches the vehicle and asks the driver for her liscense. She stumbles thru her purse...then looks back up at the officer and asks, "What does it look like officier?" The Blonde officer replies..."It's the item in your purse with your picture on it."

 

The Blonde reaches in her purse and pull out this plastic case, opens it and looks and sees her picture. She hands it to the officer, and the officer says, "If I would have known you were a police officer I wouldn't have stopped you."

 

 

 

Cheers!

Fates

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Ugh, Chief that was so bad it was funny. It took me a little while, but I finally got it :D

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Ah, I thought Chiefs joke was good, LMAO for like 10 seconds :lol:

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Ill bet it was the poor janitor who cleaned it all up too eh? ;)

 

I almost blew snot all over my screen...you guys gotta quit tellin' these jokes... :blink: :D

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