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Dagger

why did the chicken cross the road?

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I read this at another forum and just had to post it here:

 

GEORGE W BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of

the road or not. The chicken is either against us or

for us. There is no middle ground here.

 

COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the

satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

 

HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we

have not yet been allowed to have access to the other

side of the road.

 

JOHN KERRY

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I

am now against it!

 

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road

had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The

chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the

other side of the road because it was crushed by the

wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

 

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

 

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but

I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross

the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is

already forming a support group to help chickens with

crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How

much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens

crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And

when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,

money the government took from you to build a road for

chickens to cross.

 

MARTHA STEWART

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was

going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market

to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain

level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

 

 

JERRY FAWELL

Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious?

Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your

face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'.

That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my

friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that

chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott

all chickens until we sort out this abomination that

the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless

phrases like "the other side."

 

DR SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a

toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it

crossed I've not been told.

 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die in the rain. Alone.

 

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to

cross roads without having their motives called into

question.

 

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the

road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,

and that was good enough.

 

BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be

listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the

heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious

case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life

long dream of crossing the road.

 

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads

together in peace.

 

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.

 

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

 

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

 

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the

chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying

sexual insecurity.

 

BILL GATES

I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not

only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your

important documents, and balance your checkbook, - and

internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

 

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road

move beneath the chicken?

 

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is

your definition of chicken?

 

AL GORE

I invented the chicken!

 

THE BIBLE

And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the

chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken

didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

 

COLONEL SANDERS

Did I miss one?

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Heh, I've read those before... in fact, you missed a few:

 

SAEED AL SAHAF, Iraqi Head of Information

- The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

 

TONY BLAIR

- I agree with George W.

 

HOMER SIMPSON

- Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n

 

I still like the Colonel Sanders one though :D

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