UK_Widowmaker

THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. I ACTUALLY HAD TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE WHILE READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO FUNNY!!!: After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect ~ Cerys

Some very interesting comments gentlemen..thank you :)

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth, And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings; Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth Of sun-split clouds, --and done a hundred things You have not dreamed of --Wheeled and soared and swung High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung My eager craft through footless halls of air... Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace Where never lark or even eagle flew -- And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod The high untrespassed sanctity of space, Put out my hand, and touched the face of God. My Condolences to you and your family

One of the saddest pictures I have ever seen..and yet, the Police Officers lining the street, to salute Kaiser on his final journey..had me in tears. Having lost my faithful Collie Max last week, I can relate to how they feel. Only someone who has loved, and lost a Dog, will truly understand what it feels like. RIP Kaiser and Max

I'm not a greatly Religous person, but in the Book of Enoch (old testament)..God makes it perfectly clear, that, come judgement day, 'The Beasts will judge us' So, these scumbags, and the others like them..had better hope it's bollox!

I hope that she recieves the highest award for personal courage, our Country can bestow on her!... a good, old fashioned...bloody Hero!

Just wanted to say how pleased I was, that the crew of this BA Airbus, got their 75 passengers safely to earth today at Heathrow this morning, after an apparent Engine Fire....Well done guys

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=84c_1369344545

Let's not jump the gun, just because it was a PIA flight. Being Drunk and Swearing at Cabin Crew is also treated as 'Endangerment' ;)

Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!..... Men cry... Only psychopaths dont!

wow!...great footage!!!!

I too am deeply offended!.... The Aircraft in the Middle...Should be a Sopwith Camel! :)

Easy to read too much into this re:- Terrorism. Just two psychopathic Nutjobs, using any agenda possible, to vent their frustrations on unarmed people.

The Fact that Bees are dying out, is the most worrying thing I've heard in years!.... No Bees = No Life on Earth :( It's always the smallest things, that have the largest impact don't you find? Olham..yes, sorry not been around much...damn life always get's in the way...but I can never resist a post about the Black and White Wonder Dogs! :) (in fact...My New Skin should have one on, what ya reckon?)..... It would have been no problem for them...Black and White paint was in ready supply in WW1 I suspect)

Collies eh?...lol...can't beat 'em! No Armadillo's here in the UK...but plenty of Rabbits have felt Sophie's wrath!..... She shows no quarter... and is more than happy to bring them back for the pot too! (she usually ends up getting the whole Rabbit to eat...though she shares it with Old Max (my other Collie)...whose Rabbit chasing days are over...though, in his Youth..he nailed his fair share! And yet...when presented with their natural job of herding...they can be the most gentle Dogs...my friend who is a shepherd by trade, has a Collie, who will pin a lamb to the ground...just firmly enough, with his paw...to hold it there, until his master arrives...but causes no injury, or indeed..undue stress to the Lamb. Quite the most amazing Dogs I've ever had dealings with.

Sometimes these updates are more trouble than they're worth!... 6% on Sniper Elite?.... not even worth the trouble

While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US, we know very little about it.” The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.” The doctor answers, “I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.” The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!” The doctor replies, “Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.” The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.” The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!” The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!” “Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims. “Yes”, says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two week. Faw off by itself...!”

Uber-Awesome!...Such Beautiful, Intelligent animals!...lucky them!

We need look no further than Cliffs of Dover..to see what bringing out a product too early can do!.... Imagine the sh*tstorm if WOFF was released in that state?

I cannot imagine the Dev's having spent this amount of time on it, would throw in the towel at this stage

Hi Guys...I have reinstalled OFF, due to a reformat...and have installed all the patches in order (including HITR) All is 'ok'...no problem running it...but am having a problem with 'freezes' or 'Stutters' in cockpit view. Strangely, all works ok in external view. Using a Nvidia card...with the recommended settings for my rig (that worked fine before) The doubly annoying thing, is FSX is working great! (and that's usually a good indicator of problems, when it doesnt) Anyone any suggestions?...I'm almost certain, it is just a Graphics issue..but hey..what do i know :)

314.21 m8

We don't have 'Rights' (check out George Carlin) So why should this prick have any?