Bullethead

Most wives have been subconsciously programmed by cats to act as the cats' proxies. Thus, while the cats are doing something much more important, such as taking naps, the wives can carry out the boring, day-to-day routine of making husbands' lives Hell .

I thought Solvang was Dutch, not Deutsch. But whatever, I agree. Good food there. The central part of Texas was settled mainly by Germans and Czechs who have tried to keep at least the culinary part of their heritage alive, even if they've acculturated to Texas in every other way. Thus, German and Czech food is always available there, although I don't know how authentic it is. There seems to be some Tex-Mex influence in it, except on heritage festival days. Still tastes great, though.

Have a good trip. That food certainly looks good!

The OP had it backwards: cats actually control the aliens just as much as they control humans. I mean seriously, we all know that cats are the supreme beings in the universe and that none of them will ever take orders from anything or anybody. So it's ridiculous on its face to say that they're being controlled by aliens. What's actually happening is that UFO encounters are carefully planned and managed by cats to cause as much discomfort to both the humans and the aliens as possible, all for their own amusement. The humans get probed, mind-wiped and, if they ever mention any of this, totally discredited amongst their peers for the rest of their lives. The aliens, being much more advanced, are tortured more subtlely. First off, they're dragged far off course (they'd never come to such a backwater as Earth voluntarily), which is a huge embarassment to any star-faring race. Second, their cloaking devices are disabled so they can't just sneak back into the civilized parts of the galaxy, but have to put on the creepy alien act the whole time they're stuck here. And if they ever tell any aliens back home about it, they'll be discredited for the rest of their lives, too. I mean, if it ruins a human to say he's been abducted by aliens, think what a scandal it would be for an alien to admit being abducted by a cat . Fortunately, however, all such kitty pranks are limited in scope to the fiendish desires of a single cat. Cats refuse to take orders from anybody, especially other cats. This prevents them from organizing their efforts and totally dominating the universe. But then, no cat wants to be bothered with that anyway--after all, running the universe is a full-time job with many responsibilities. BORING! Cats perfer to follow their whims of the moment rather than work on a set schedule. So for the most part, we can go about our pathetic little lives in peace, but we all know that at any moment, a cat could totally screw us over. And cats enjoy knowing we know that

I never knew that. Every Saudi I met was brewing and drinking the dark, gritty stuff (and they even taught me how to brew it myself), so I assumed that must be the Saudi recipe, but you're saying it's actually Turkish. Oh well, I learn something new every day. Still, whatever you call it, I like it, even the grittiness (which I assume is from the ashes of the Polynesian firewalker ). I look forward to trying that traditional Saudi recipe.

Well, you've got my respect for trying it even after my warnings. In my native Texas, we pride ourselves on being able to float a horseshoe on our coffee. In my ancestral Lousy Anna, they think the coffee's weak if the floating horseshoe doesn't dissolve within 30 seconds. But in Saudi Arabia, it's not good coffee unless a Polynesian fire-walker dissolves in it after only 1 step

Pretty much. That stuff will raise the dead! Have you ever tried that sample I sent you?

Chuck Norris gave the LHC a roundhouse kick and discovered the Higgs Boson.

I have that Wii Fit thing myself. It's just a glorified bathroom scale but it can still kick your ass. When I really want to feel old and worn-out, I use it

Welcome aboard, Abbay! Being as it's early morning where I live, I'll have a cup of that devastatingly effective coffee you all make. I got addicted to that stuff during my visit to the Kingdom 20 years ago. One sip of that keeps me going about 36 hours

Certainly I forgot to mention that I also got a Dr. Who coffee/tea mug. When the mug is cold, the Tardis is sitting on the ground on 1 side but when hot, it's in space on the opposite side. You can't break in a Dr. Who mug with coffee so I used some of my carefully rationed Ostfriesland tea. Marvelous! Thanks again for that Is he into re-enacting?

Merry Christmas to all! Hope you all got some good loot. I got a stack of excellent books, a truly evil pocket knife, and a limited edition bottle of Lagavulin 16

SPOILER ALERT: Post contains info about civil war quests. I finally joined up with the Stormcloaks. After a few minor skirmishes, Ulfric decided to take Whiterun. So, I go there and meet up with the Stormcloak army. The first thing I see is a couple of catapults lobbing fireballs indescriminantly into the city. EEK! My house, harem, and treasure are in there! Needless to say, this gave me a great sense of urgency to finish the battle as quickly as possible. But that wasn't my decision. We couldn't launch the assault until Ulfric's general Galmar Stone-Fist (who seems to be the real driving force behind the war) finished his peptalk. He's a longwinded bastard and all the while, those catapults were still firing. I was really tempted to go smack the crews. But finally, the whistles blew and we went over the top. Approaching the walls, I was dismayed to see the stables in flaming ruins. What's happened to my house? That was a bigger worry than the storm of arrows coming from the gatehouse. So needless to say, I went berserk, slashing through the ranks of Imperial soldiers and Whiterun guards to get at the drawbridge mechanism in no time at all. Once I had the gate open, the main Stormcloak army charged in and the remnants of the defenders fell back to inner lines further up the hill. I dashed after them, casting a quick glance at my house as I went by. Miraculously, it was unscathed, although the blacksmith shop next door and several other nearby structures were in flames. That was something of a relief, but now I was worried that my house's lack of damage would make it the number one target when the soldiers were given their traditional payment looting the captured city. No time to lose! So, onwards and upwards, through baracades and burning debris. I was the 1st to enter Dragonsreach and the showdown with the Jarl, who was rather miffed at how I was repaying his previous favors to me. As soon as that was taken care of, back down the hill to my house. Thankfully, all was well there. Lydia and Senna were calmly eating breakfast together but were very glad to see me

My cat Gus definitely runs the house and has a paws-on managerial style. Several times each day, he takes short breaks from hunting to inspect the house. He checks in on each of his servants and his livestock, spending a few minutes with each to make sure they're doing their jobs, asking if they have any problems, and boosting their morale. Then back out to the killing fields. He's doing his best to train the dog in hunting. The dog can run down anything it spots more than 10 feet from its burrow or a tree, but such opportunities are rare because the dog utterly fails to grasp the concept of stalking. So Gus frequently brings in live rodents and plops them down where they can run behind furniture, letting the dog see this. Then he tries to show the dog how to sit there quietly and wait for the rodent to attempt to escape. He's slowly making progress on this. The dog has reached the point of no longer trying to dig through the furniture, but it still is too easily distracted by other things going on in the house.

It seems my own cannibalism has caught up with me. I've been invited to join a group of like-minded individuals..... In other news, ol' Snotr finally got married. My lovely bride is Senna, a randy little Breton wench and erstwhile junior priestess at the temple of Dibella. It was that last part that decided me on her as opposed to all the other randy wenches I've met; enthusiasm plus professional training trumps mere enthusiasm. Lydia, who's still shacking up with me, attended the wedding and didn't look happy (see pic below). However, I left the 2 of them alone together in my tiny Whiterun flat and when I got back home, they'd become friends and were both very glad to see me. Life is good