Chuck Norris and the Air Force

[+Fates 63]

A few facts you might not know about Mr. Norris:

 

Chuck Norris only does Air to ground Maverick Boresights on SA-20 sites.

 

Chuck always uses Fuel Flows override and briefs the Engine Hot Lights are an indicator of Max Thrust.

 

Mr. Norris does not use Risk Estimate Distances because “Frag tastes Good”

 

Chuck uses Chuckmax and Chuckmin for artillery deconfliction.

 

Chuck may eject during a CSAR over the survivor to expedite the recovery.

 

Chuck Norris does not need an AO update and he will strafe the JTAC’s position if told to read back ANYTHING.

 

The Chuck Norris fighter check-in is as follows: “Chuck Norris checking in, I’m cleared hot.”

 

The only initials Chuck Norris needs are his own. He IS the ground commander.

 

Chuck Norris once ejected from a perfectly good jet just so he could punch the SA-8 operator in the face for not following his T.O.

 

Chuck does not use WP rockets, he eats white phosphorus for breakfast.

 

Chuck typically marks targets with kamikaze predators he controls with his IPOD.

 

Chuck burned down the entire city of Indian Springs when a predator shot a hellfire through his block

 

Chuck was given a run in restriction….once

 

Chuck dropped a MOAB off station 6 on the CAOC for using “CAS” and “B-52” in the same sentence.

 

Chuck can mesure coordinates with the #2 needle and canopy references but only uses it to pass the location of wingmen that miss a check in.

 

And the best one.....

Chuck Norris is the reason for crop circles. Because sometimes corn just needs to lay the f*@k down.