navychief Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Subject: Amazing Claude It was opening night at the Orpheum. The Amazing Claude topped the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of this audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch ..." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "S.h.i.t!" said the hypnotist. It took three weeks to clean up the theater. Quote
+Fates Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 THat's about as bad as this blonde joke I heard the other day...... I blonde police officer pulls over another blonde for speeding. She approaches the vehicle and asks the driver for her liscense. She stumbles thru her purse...then looks back up at the officer and asks, "What does it look like officier?" The Blonde officer replies..."It's the item in your purse with your picture on it." The Blonde reaches in her purse and pull out this plastic case, opens it and looks and sees her picture. She hands it to the officer, and the officer says, "If I would have known you were a police officer I wouldn't have stopped you." Cheers! Fates Quote
PG_Raptor Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Ugh, Chief that was so bad it was funny. It took me a little while, but I finally got it :D Quote
snapple2993 Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Ah, I thought Chiefs joke was good, LMAO for like 10 seconds Quote
+pcpilot Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Ill bet it was the poor janitor who cleaned it all up too eh? ;) I almost blew snot all over my screen...you guys gotta quit tellin' these jokes... :D Quote
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