In Brussels HQ

[macelena 1,070]

Just got this from a friend

 

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FROM: NATO HQ Brussels

TO: All Spanish Staff

SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage

 

It's been brought to our attention by several officers visiting our headquarters that the Spanish staff

commonly uses offensive language. Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group's policy, is highly

unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself.

 

Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to the following rules:

 

1. Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as "that crappy fa***t".

 

2. Words like "f**k", "s**t", and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how

heated the discussion is.

 

3. You will not say "he screwed up" when someone makes a mistake, or "he is being screwed" if you see somebody

being reprimanded, or "screw up!!" when major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the

verb "screw" are inappropriate in our environment.

 

4. No Commander in Chief, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration Chief, will be referred to, under

any circumstances, as "son of the great b***h", or "the motherf****r" or even "the crapper".

 

5. Lack of determination will not be referred as to "lack of balls" or "fagotterism" nor will persons

with a lack of initiative be ever referred to as "pussy" or "sissy".

 

6. Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as "mindf**k" in particular when they

stem from your commander.

 

7. You will not say "he is playing with my balls" if a person is persistent, or "gonna get his balls cut off" if

a colleague is going through a difficult situation.

 

8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "suck my d**k", nor should you ever

substitute the most educated "may I help you?" with "what the f**k do you want now?"

 

9. If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as we are going through a difficult time should be

used rather than "this is f***ing " or "We´re all gonna get f***ed". Additionally, if you make a mistake,

just say so and do not say "I f***d up" or any expressions composed with the root "f**k". Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words

"clusterf**k" should not be used.

 

10. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "crappy raise".

 

11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say "i´m gona wipe my ass with this". Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.

 

B. regards

 

Rear-admiral J.W. Adamson

 

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Edited August 5, 2011 by macelena

[Slartibartfast 153]

 

Seen one of those when I was in... someone got annoyed when we kept saying Fubar everytime he Fubar'd something up... he didn't know what it meant until he asked someone...