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ONETINSOLDIER

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Posts posted by ONETINSOLDIER

  5. Posted

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about the problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight .

     

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

     

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

     

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

     

    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

     

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

     

    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

     

    P: Something loose in cockpit.

     

    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

     

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.

     

    S: Live bugs on back-order.

     

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

     

    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

     

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

     

    S: Evidence removed.

     

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

     

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

     

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

     

    S: That's what friction locks are for.

     

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

     

    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

     

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.

     

    S: Suspect you're right.

     

    P: Number 3 engine missing.

     

    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

     

    P: Aircraft handles funny.

     

    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

     

    P: Target radar hums.

     

    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

     

    P: Mouse in cockpit.

     

    S: Cat installed.

     

    And the best one for last..................

     

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

     

    S: Took hammer away from midget.

  6. Posted

    I used to live in a little town in nevada called Battle Mountain where you could drive a couple minutes and be away from everything manmade where it was competely silent. The first time some friends from out of town came to see me we went for a drive in the desert and it was strange to see how uncomfortable they became with the absence of background noise. Funny how we become accustomed to things and the way we react without them.

  16. Posted

    My nephew recently came home on his first leave and has brought home some strange news.

    Now, granted I was only an army brat of the 60's, but I figure I got my 9 years in , in a roundabout way, but I got just one question.

    Who fooked up my beloved army!?!?!?!? He says he hasnt shined one pair of freakin boots, and that airborne dont even wear corchorans and blouse thier trousers.

    What the hell happened? And whats with this "relaxed" basic training?

     

    WHO'S RESPONSIBLE?

  24. Posted

    Ok, so at least it was for me this time. I admit that I'm usual late at checking things out sometimes, but I just now checked out g00gle maps and I clicked the little orange colored guy and dragged him around the map, it showed me pictures, amazing! Im aware of the sophistication of optics these days, but this blows my mind, if you look at the picture I attached, just above where it says "deer trail" you can see three windows, THATS MY FREAKIN BEDROOM!! Granted, you cant see IN them, but this is the technology that they let us know about, and trust and believe, they got better.

    I recently learned that the capabilities of GPS location had always been down to one meter, its just that a bug was written into the code that would only allow it to locate "the general public" as close as something like 100 meters. What Im getting at is that I listen to a police scanner a lot and they seem to have longitude and latitude on about every phone call they take, even landlines. Is this possible? Its all about intel these days, who you are, what youve done, how many weapons you have registered to you, etc etc.

    I swear to you on this point, where I live if you are outdoors after 2300 hrs, you are going to be questioned, either driving, walking or on a bike.

    When did they declare marshal law? And all the I.D.'s and plates tey run and have the info sent to thier email, whats up with that? And the use of cell phones WHILE DRIVING. Thats illegal, gentlemen,,,,, but still they do it all the time.

    Ok, rant off.

     

    the picture

     

    (Picture deleted by admin because it has your freaking address on it dude)

     

    that wasnt my address, but no big deal about the pic

  25. Posted

    Ok, so at least it was for me this time. I admit that I'm usual late at checking things out sometimes, but I just now checked out g00gle maps and I clicked the little orange colored guy and dragged him around the map, it showed me pictures, amazing! Im aware of the sophistication of optics these days, but this blows my mind, if you look at the picture I attached, just above where it says "deer trail" you can see three windows, THATS MY FREAKIN BEDROOM!! Granted, you cant see IN them, but this is the technology that they let us know about, and trust and believe, they got better.

    I recently learned that the capabilities of GPS location had always been down to one meter, its just that a bug was written into the code that would only allow it to locate "the general public" as close as something like 100 meters. What Im getting at is that I listen to a police scanner a lot and they seem to have longitude and latitude on about every phone call they take, even landlines. Is this possible? Its all about intel these days, who you are, what youve done, how many weapons you have registered to you, etc etc.

    I swear to you on this point, where I live if you are outdoors after 2300 hrs, you are going to be questioned, either driving, walking or on a bike.

    When did they declare marshal law? And all the I.D.'s and plates tey run and have the info sent to thier email, whats up with that? And the use of cell phones WHILE DRIVING. Thats illegal, gentlemen,,,,, but still they do it all the time.

    Ok, rant off.

     

    the picture

     

    (Picture deleted by admin because it has your freaking address on it dude)

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