History of the World Part 1 quotes

[HrntFixr 4]

Empress Nympho: [to her litter bearers] Could you *please* step on the same foot at the same time! My tits are falling off!

[+Dave 2,322]

Roman Officer: Seize him!

Josephus: [grabs crotch] Seize *this*, honkus!

[+Dave 2,322]

Count de Monet: It is said that the people are revolting.

King Louis XVI: You said it! They stink on ice!

[FOTF 0]

You men go that way, you men go that way...and I'm just going to walk around in circles

[+Dave 2,322]

Marcus Vindictus: Don't you know your right flank from your left flank?

Captain Mucus: I'm sorry sir, I flunked flank.

Marcus Vindictus: You flunked flank? Get the flunk out of here!

[FOTF 0]

It's good ta be da king

[FOTF 0]

Oh you are nuts. N-V-T-S - nuts!

[firehawkordy 34]

Torqemada: We've broken their fingers, we've blistered their buns, nothin' is working, send in the Nuns!

[GASCAN39 7]

The King - "Don't tell me you don't do it....You do it.... everybody does it.....I do it, I love to do it....I just got through doing it and I want to do it again....Don't tell me you don't do it"

[GASCAN39 7]

"You look like the lowly pi$$ boy"

 

Josephus - (While pouring wine) - "Say when"

 

Nympho - "eight thirty"

 

 

Nympho - "The servant waits, while the masterwates"

[JediMaster 451]

"Occupation?"

"Stand-up philosopher!"

[HrntFixr 4]

"Occupation?"

"Stand-up philosopher!"

 

 

 

"Oh a Bulls**t artist"

[GASCAN39 7]

Da King - "Hump...Death....Hump....Death...Hump...Death"

[FOTF 0]

Moses - "Hear ye. The lord has given thee these fifteen (drops one tablet and it shatters)....oi.....ten commandments"

[JediMaster 451]

"He is a eunuch.

He is a eunuch.

He is dead!"

[FOTF 0]

"We gotta stay loose, ya know? Let it cool....let the coolness flow into our vertabraes"

 

 

"seize this, honkus!"

[FOTF 0]

"Do you know the punishment for a slave striking a Roman citizen?"

 

"Death by Torture?"

 

"No"

 

"Crucifiction?"

 

"No"

 

"They shove a live snake up your a$$?"

 

"Ohhh! No, but that's very creative"