My Friend Goose Posted This Ages Ago

[+Dave 2,322]

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like

 

to respond like this?

 

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina

 

dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the

 

checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and

 

have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a

 

dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably

 

shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that

 

I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with

 

tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way

 

that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and

 

simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is

 

nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it

 

again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line

 

was now enthralled with my story.)

 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the

 

dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff

 

an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he

 

was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

 

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in

 

the world to think of crazy things to say.

 

RIP Goose

[+Jimbib 747]

Best wind up I've heard in ages 10/10

[Derk 265]

Woof, looks like a good idea. I have a Newfoundlander, with the second one - a 10 weeks old brown puppy- coming on next Friday, so there's plenty of dog food around.Its even diet food !!

Will one loose double the weight with two dogs ?

 

Hou doe,

 

Derk

[Badfrank 5]