Cannibals in the Navy...

[Creepy847 0]

Cannibals in the Navy...

 

Five cannibals were employed by the Navy as translators during one of the island campaigns of World War II. When the Commanding Admiral of the task force welcomed the cannibals he said, "You're all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of the rations that the Sailors are eating. So please do not indulge yourselves by eating a Sailor."

 

The cannibals promised.

 

Four weeks later, the Admiral returned and said, "You're all working hard, and I'm very satisfied with every one of you. However, one of our Chief Petty Officers has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"

 

The cannibals all shook their heads. After the Admiral left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, "Which of you idiots ate the Chief?" A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, "You idiot! For four weeks we've been eating Ensigns, Lieutenants, Lieutenant Commanders, Commanders, and even one Captain, and no one noticed a thing. And then YOU had to go and eat a Chief!"

[Creepy847 0]

U.S. Navy Oath of Allegiance

 

I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away four years of my life to the United States Navy because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...Why not?"

 

I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stencilled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor man during the summer, and for the Waffen SS during the winter.

 

I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, ranks and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster (whatever that is) at 0700 hours every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930 hours.

 

I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice each fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my new-found "colleagues."

 

So help me Neptune.

 

Signature:_________________________

Date:________________

[navychief 1]

Hey, what is this, pick on Chief jokes? Heh, heh, well then, you all need to know the rules:

 

Rules as they apply to The Chief

 

THE CHIEF IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

IN THE IMPOSSIBLE HYPOTHESIS THAT A SUBORDINATE MAY BE RIGHT, SEE ABOVE.

 

THE CHIEF DOES NOT SLEEP, HE RESTS.

 

THE CHIEF IS NEVER LATE, HE IS DETAINED ELSEWHERE.

 

THE CHIEF NEVER LEAVES WORK, HIS PRESENCE IS REQUIRED ELSEWHERE.

 

THE CHIEF NEVER READS THE PAPER IN THE MESS, HE STUDIES.

 

THE CHIEF NEVER GOES ON LIBERTY WITH HIS JUNIORS, HE CONDUCTS TRAINING SESSIONS.

 

WHOEVER CONFRONTS THE CHIEF WITH AN IDEA OF HIS OWN, MUST LEAVE WITH THE CHIEF'S IDEA.

 

THE CHIEF IS ALWAYS THE CHIEF, EVEN IN HIS SHOWER SHOES

 

Learn it, know it, live it.. Heh, heh. I did.

 

Navy Chief

[SDirickson 0]

You haven't even seen a real acronym till you go to a Navy base. CINCCOMSUBLANT. CORTRAMIDWEST. AMMARFLOLANCOM. KGHASDFHHDAFKSDAF.

[Skater 0]

You haven't even seen a real acronym till you go to a Navy base. CINCCOMSUBLANT. CORTRAMIDWEST. AMMARFLOLANCOM. KGHASDFHHDAFKSDAF.

Now that last one was fake, c'mon... I've been in the Nav for 16 years and never heard that one.

 

-Skater

[navychief 1]

What about NAVAIRFACDILDOPAC?

 

Heh, heh....

 

Navy Chief

[firehawkordy 34]

U.S. Marine Corps Oath of Enlistment

 

 

 

I, state your name, swear... uuhhhh... high-and-tight...

cammies... uhh... ugh... Air Force women... OORAH!

 

So help me Corps.

 

______________________________

 

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Date (Y/N)

 

 

And for that last joke,

I leave to my cousin the Marine,

A LARGE BOOT TO THE HEAD!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

[zagnut 0]

I, state your name, swear... uuhhhh... high-and-tight...

cammies... uhh... ugh... Air Force women... OORAH!

 

So help me Corps.

 

______________________________

 

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LOL!

 

Brings back memories of being fresh out of the Army, wanting a change, and asking the officer at my oath if it was too late to re-neg before handing in my (re?) enlistment docs.....

 

And ya know what? I never regretted it; that's why I went back into the Army!

Edited August 12, 2004 by zagnut

[CowboyTodd41 134]

That's an absolutely great joke creepy :D

 

One canibal says to other, "I don't like your brother-in-law." Other canibal says, "So just eat the beans."