OT - Ford

[Flyby PC 23]

Grrrrrr! Sigh!

 

BLOODY Ford!

 

We have a works van, sat idle for about 8 months with a full tank of deisel. So I thought I'd syphon some out just to use it before it gets nicked. (Hey, it's a 5 minute job, and this is the UK where fuel is more expensive than gold).

 

 

First, not one of the three door locks will work using the key, either key. One of the key's itself broke and started turning freely in the handle. Eventually, using a cocktail of oil, WD-40, bribery and gentle persuasion, we got one door to open - we never dare lock it again.

 

Won't start, but that's ok. It's sat a while.

 

After 20 minutes trying every type of tubing in the yard, apparently the petrol tank has an anti-syphon filter so fuel doesn't get out if I overturn the van. OK, I can't syphon it out the filler pipe, so I'll drain it instead. Not so fast. No drain plug in a Ford.

 

Maybe we can get to the tank through the floor of the van. Who knows? The door won't open and there's a bulkhead between the front and back.

 

We have to cut out the internal mesh bulkhead to get to the back door (bulkhead bolts on the inside), but even so, the back door won't even open from the inside. We're hoping theres a floor panel where we can get through to the fuel tank's sender unit and perhaps access the tank from the top, but we can't get the wooden floor panel out to see, because we can't open the ruddy back door, because opening the latch doesn't let go of the catch.

 

I now need to drill out the rivets to see why the back door lock wont open.

 

FFS!!!!

 

All I want is a gallon or two of deisel. Is it so very difficult???

 

2 and half hours later and I'm still not in. Waste of a ruddy afternoon.

 

Four letter word? - FORD! Fix Or Repair Daily.

 

What's the difference in cost between a door lock that works and a door lock that doesn't? The door lock that doesn't work is much more expensive because it comes attached to a FORD motor vehicle!!!

 

Anyone want to buy a van? May have a small hole drilled in its fuel tank, and a big 'boot' shaped dent in the back door. Come for a test drive but bring your own door keys coz mine don't bloody work.

[TSmoke 2]

My oh my how patience is needed and none to be had. Easy as pie to get the fuel out make sure battery has a bit of juice disconnect fuel line turn the key and let the pump do the work, it's a tad slow but it will work.

 

Your only pissed at FORD cause that just happens to be what that particular van is. I don't know what vehicle brands you guys have in GB, but here Dodge is the biggest POS on four wheels.

 

If you got the front door open why the need to drill rivets? Rear lock is screwed on from the inside, door locks on vehicles are so poorly made any force will cause them to be FUBAR. The rear door latch is just a half assed stiff wire bent and attached to the latch with a spring wire C clamp ithe clamp is off at the latch or the door handle end.

For freeing stuck things like locks, rusty nuts(LOL), or other such things get some Move IT or use brake fluid, WD40 is the most poopular but is just that. Just don't get brake fluid on the paint it will remove it if left on.

 

If all else fails and the vehicle is insured, a misplaced cigarette, or a dead short in the right place can solve that FORDS problem, not recommended but know a few who have partaken in such measures.

[Flyby PC 23]

It's ok. I saw the signs of stress and just gave up before I had a stroke or got the gas axe out. It's only a bit of diesel.

 

The back door doesn't work because the plastic handle has snapped internally. The drivers door lock was always iffy, but all three are now kaput. If I get some oil in the right place they might work again - for a few days.

 

The rear door was locked, with a broken handle. For some reason Ford decided the lock and the handle should work together so when one breaks they both do. The rivets held a panel covering the workings. I got it off and manually released the lock. The door now opens, but only from the inside. I need a new plastic handle which will cost me about £300 no doubt. I also couldn't get the floor out because the van is lined with Ply, only the genius that put that in put the floor in first and then the side panels. You can't lift the floor out without ripping out the whole internal lining. Seeing this is what made me give up.

 

This isn't an old clunker van, not new perhaps, but it's only 9 years old. It doesn't inspire confidence to drive a thing at speed when the company that made it can't even come up with functional door locks. FFS, all it has to do is open and close at the turn of a key. - 100% Fail!

 

Never mind. I still have my Landy. It breaks too from time to time, but it encourages you to believe it's on your side and wants to be fixed.

 

True story about Ford - A mate was driving a blue escort when he went skiing for the day. After a day on the piste, he went back to his car, opened the door, jumped in and started to drive away. Half way out the car park he noticed things were 'funny', and unfamiliar. He noticed the radio was completely different. The penny dropped he'd actually jumped into somebody elses Ford Escort, opened it, started it and drove it away with his own keys. This is a true story. It turns out at the time, Ford only had 8 types of key - that is one chance in eight your keys would open somebody elses car.

[JFM 18]

There are vehicles that still use keys for entry? How old is this thing? Oh, wait, I saw, nine years.

 

I had a Ford van that had 200,000 miles on it when I finally got rid of it. Ran great, and I did nothing to upkeep it. Once I let the oil get so low that only the ticking cylinders alerted me to the situation. Had no money on me and was sixty miles from home and so I just headed that way and hoped I'd make it. I did. When I got home I checked the dipstick--not a drop on it. I had to put over four quarts in it. Transmission leaked fluid; when it'd slip I'd just pour a quart in and it'd be fine. The thing ran like that for years and years. Just imagine if I took care of it!

[Flyby PC 23]

I say key, it looks like a length of 6" nail with some crimping in it.

 

What else do you use that you don't use keys? One of those press a button and everything opens? Hmmm. Wait til that is 9 years old and the battery sucks because its a bit chilly.

 

I'm behind the times I guess. I still use keys, (although my van seems to have given up on them all by itself).

 

Not a great fan of car gizmos. I had a volvo once with a heated seat which broke and stayed on and tried to cook you until I cut the wires. It was a subtle heat though, you didn't actually know it was on. I didn't actually know I even had heated seats. You'd get to your destination sweating like a pig for no apparent reason. Then an electric window packed in. A new motor was a rediculous price so I just drove about with the window up. Then the local supermarket put one of those ticket and boom entry gates on to their car park entrance. What a pain. That was a nice car, but spoiled by stupid gimicks that broke down. - Gimicks you didn't need, but they bugged you because they were broken.

 

My idea of heroic vehicles is the excavator which once got stuck on a beach in Arisaig. I forget now what the problem was, ran out of fuel perhaps. The tide came in and covered most of it. Eventually after a few hours the tide went out, the driver went back, jumped in the cab and turned the key and it started. - Thats the kind of engine I like.

[JFM 18]

"A bit chilly" in Naples, Florida.

[Hasse Wind 46]

The more advanced the technology they use in cars becomes, the less reliable the vehicles are in cold weather conditions. That's been my experience. It's so very nice to have a HAL 9000 running things under the hood, but not so nice anymore when the temperature drops down enough and the fancy electronics decide they can't take it anymore.

 

I'm actually looking for a new car (well, a used car that is newer than my current piece of junk metal), but I don't think I'm going to buy your van, Flyby PC.