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Capitaine Vengeur

Skills through ranks ...

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Skills according with ranks, retrieved and translated from a grunt's military madness I found amusing. Guess which rank the author had... :grin:



General : He can make a standing jump over high buildings. He is stronger than a big locomotive, faster than a missile. He can walk on raging waves. And every day, he has dinner with God.


Colonel : He can jump over high buildings with three steps of run-up. He is stronger than a medium locomotive, and as fast as a large-calibre shell. He can walk on quiet waves. And every day, he chats with God.


Lieutenant-Colonel : He can jump over small buildings, when authorized. He is almost as strong as a medium locomotive, almost as fast as a small-calibre projectile. He can almost walk on water. And possibly, if his request is accepted, he will be allowed to talk to God.


Major : He can jump over a Bedouin tent. He will lose after a hard fight against a medium locomotive. He can use a large-calibre weapon. He is a fair swimmer. Sometimes, God could talk to him.


Captain : He will cause much damage if trying to jump over buildings. He will be crushed by a locomotive. He can use a rifle, in favourable circumstances. He can swim with the help of dolphins. He talks to animals.


Lieutenant : He runs into buildings. He can recognize a locomotive twice out of three tries. He will never be entrusted ammunitions. He can float, if trained in using a rubber ring. He talks to walls.


Second Lieutenant : He smashes his face up in the stairs at the entrance of buildings. He can fight against a locomotive toy. He can get wounded using a water gun. He walks in puddles. He mutters to himself.


SARGE : He pushes aside the buildings bothering Him. He derails locomotives in a single kick. He stops bullets with teeth and spits them out. He freezes the raging ocean in a single look. HE IS GOD !






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