Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was on a visit to Pune, India and drank a glass of Tang, thus inventing Punetang.

Chuck Norris is only gratified when an opponents heart stops beating, and then only for a fleeting second. When confronted, all words rhyme with Chuck out of pure fear.

Chuck Norris threw both weapons packs into the air and roundhouse kicked them together, creating a perfect merge.

When you are infinite, shoe size is irrelevant. Besides, Chuck Norris can kill all birds with two stones--the ones between his legs.

Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".

It looks like the Bay Bridge after I sneezed.

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris cannot be found. He exists everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris has to be careful when he says "to hell with you" because when he does, people are actually sent to hell.

When Chuck Norris wants a Bear-F, he goes into the woods and beats a bear into submission, then paints an F on it. The bear does not complain.

Windows Vista does not make the mistake of crashing on Chuck Norris.

You won't get the chance, T. I am about to will this guy out of existence through the shear power of my rage.