Slartibartfast

Welcome to the madhouse the mud etc... As to helping out I would if I could... So all I will say is welcome these chaps are very knowledgeable in the subject of WW1 to the point of somedays I wonder if they have time machines!!! Yes Olham and Raf_Lou... so welcome again and mines ein melange mit ein Schnapps need something to keep the chill off at 4000metres

Happy Birthday Froods...

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village. A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long." they answered in unison. "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families. "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" "We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. We have a full life." The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat." "And after that?" "With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise." "How long would that take?" "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist. "And after that?" "Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!" "Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen. "After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends." "With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans. And the moral of this story is: Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there

How come wrong numbers are never busy? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'? Does killing time damage eternity? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop? Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as '4's'? Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How can there be self-help 'groups'?

There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, "If you go into the bathroom there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and tell anything in your life that you believe is true. If you are telling the truth then "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out, if you lie then "POOF" you'll disappear." So the red head goes in first and stares deeply into the mirror and proclaims, "I think that i am the most beautiful woman in the world!", "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out. Then the brunette goes in. "I think that i am the smartest woman in the world," "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out. Now it's the blonde's turn. She slowly walks into the bathroom with her hands over her eyes and peeks between her fingers at the mirror. She waits... nothing happens... she is glad. She stands bravely and states, "I think... "POOF " she disappears.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

HEROES !! .... a true story of the human spirit Charlie Brown was a B-17 Flying Fortress pilot with the 379th Bomber Group at Kimbolton , England . His B-17 was called 'Ye Old Pub' and was in a terrible state, having been hit by flak and fighters. The compass was damaged and they were flying deeper over enemy territory instead of heading home to Kimbolton. After flying the B-17 over an enemy airfield, a German pilot named Franz Steigler was ordered to take off and shoot down the B-17. When he got near the B-17, he could not believe his eyes. In his words, he 'had never seen a plane in such a bad state'. The tail and rear section was severely damaged, and the tail gunner wounded. The top gunner was all over the top of the fuselage. The nose was smashed and there were holes everywhere. Despite having ammunition, Franz flew to the side of the B-17 and looked at Charlie Brown, the pilot. Brown was scared and struggling to control his damaged and blood-stained plane. Aware that they had no idea where they were going, Franz waved at Charlie to turn 180 degrees. Franz escorted and guided the stricken plane to, and slightly over, the North Sea towards England . He then saluted Charlie Brown and turned away, back to Europe . When Franz landed he told the CO that the plane had been shot down over the sea, and never told the truth to anybody. Charlie Brown and the remains of his crew told all at their briefing, but were ordered never to talk about it. More than 40 years later, Charlie Brown wanted to find the Luftwaffe pilot who saved the crew. After years of research, Franz was found. He had never talked about the incident, not even at post-war reunions. They met in the USA at a 379th Bomber Group reunion, together with 25 people who were alive - all because Franz never fired his guns that day. When asked why he didn't shoot them down, Stigler later said, "I didn't have the heart to finish those brave men. I flew beside them for a long time. They were trying desperately to get home and I was going to let them do that. I could not have shot at them. It would have been the same as shooting at a man in a parachute." Both men died in 2008. http://www.waltsrchanger.com/html/b-17_f__ye_olde_pub_.html Here's a link to the website... which has a painting to show the bomber...

Okay P-61 vs Mosquito... Both had 4 20mm Guns... as well as backups... The Mosquito Night fighter though only carried 4 20mm also if I remember rightly some of the production runs off the P-61 also only only carried 4 20mm as they had airflow issues with the turret. And has been said before the cannons built in the US where generally of inferior quality to the UK built ones. Also the later marks of Mosquito carried the same Radar and also had slightly better range and performance specs... If I was driving one of them I know which one I would have preferred and yes its the Mossie simply because it looks damn good...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0&feature=youtube_gdata_player Watch all of it...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/8527455/Mahmoud-Ahmadinejad-says-Europe-stealing-Irans-rain.html Europe is stealing all of Iran's Rain!!! :rofl:

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich. That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old "Dukes of Hazard" fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let’s face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles). At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... "OH SHOOT"! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... "THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE"!!!!!!! There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "WAS". That sumbirch got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: "ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE"!!!!! His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires. I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom . One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bi*ching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life. Author Unknown For some reason this had me laughing my socks off... :rofl:

Happy Towel Day for all those that know what it is and those that don't google is your friend (hmmm)... So do you know where yours is?

And always remember what God's final message to creation was... sorry for the inconvenience That one always made me laugh...

Watched the movie last week as well...

TLAR... is missing as well... as in That looks about right... Thanks

Must admit tried the Spad and the N11... and promptly went back to old Fiddly Bits aka the Sopwith Strutter... just cannot get on with those French fighters...

Managed my 2 Pan Galactics for the evening now if someone can get me some Ice I will head to the bank with the goldbricks wrapped in lemon... that just hit me... Whatever you do don't let a Vogon read poetry to you, I tried it once and it took 3 year drinking session to recover from it...

What him wanting to be the Mahdi one does that mean his mate will be the Moody one...

Your towels as bad as that!!! If your towel puts you in Peril no you cannot borrow mine... have another Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster instead...

Welcome to the madhouse that is Combatace...

Bad weather... no such thing but then I am English... and we love it when it Rains etc... Not

Okay I will try and do this its been awhile... Okay I was tasking for a Sead Sortie Single ship as Nato IV had hacked half the squadron from the sky and I was heading into an area I knew was fairly easy going... F-4G loaded as follows :- 3 Aim-7F Sparrow 6 Mk-20 Rockeyes 2 AGM-88A Harm 1 Centreline Drop Tank 1 ECM Pod Take off etc was all normal got into the area listening to RT calls and watching everywhere at once and settled in to do the sortie fired a Harm at an SA-10 Battery getting a kill on the Flaplid and the second to take out the nearby SA-11 site, was rolling in to take cluster bomb the SA-10 battery when a missile went by me I had been getting intermittent Su-27 contacts for around 5 minutes(I have a habit of popping chaff and flares when flying Sead, when working the area especially alone. Broke into a hard turn and seeing it was an airborne started the radar and heading for the deck. Picked up what I thought was a Single Su-27 and turned to engage he turned into me and we headed into each other at about 10miles I popped a Sparrow in a classic look up shot, he was coming down the chute from around 10000ft I nailed him easily as his airframe was masking the chaff he threw out. What I didn't realise at the time was his buddy had extended out and was on my 6 about 10 miles out after popping his first missile. I turned back into him after a quick call to Red Crown and ditched everything... and stayed low in the hope of getting him with a similar Sparrow shot this didn't happen I fired both Sparrows and they went stupid... (one off the rail the other after initially tracking) it then became a game of cat and mouse at low level he lining up for a shot and me jinking wildly... I made one mistake by popping too high about 1000ft in one of my jinks and he turned inside me and fed me an Aphid or 2 flares didn't fool them and my 6-7g turn failed me as well and thats all she wrote and I took a silk letdown... Fight lasted around 10 minutes and it was hard work from me as I had to conserve fuel to get home etc... while he was over his own territory...

Great Pit there Volker... lovely Buccaneer...

Would saying Smoking be a bit outta hand here? At least this time we have a chance of naming the damn Volcano...

Was something supposed to happen ??? Still waiting... oh well better put the Shotguns away in case of Zombies and I had stocked up on tinned food and everything...