The Economy

[+Fates]

The Economy is so bad that...

 

...I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

 

...I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

 

...CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

 

...If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

 

...Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

 

...McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

 

...Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

 

...Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

 

...The Mafia is laying off judges.

 

...Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

 

...Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

 

And, finally....

 

...I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

[+JediMaster]

That's odd, when I called the suicide hotline, I got a guy who asked if I'd tried going to sleep and waking up again. If that didn't work, I was asked to restore my brain to its birth state as that fixes 99% of mental issues. Should that fail, I might have to mail myself in for 6-8 weeks.

[macelena]

That's odd, when I called the suicide hotline, I got a guy who asked if I'd tried going to sleep and waking up again. If that didn't work, I was asked to restore my brain to its birth state as that fixes 99% of mental issues. Should that fail, I might have to mail myself in for 6-8 weeks.

 

So odd, hal.

[ezlead]