Do we have a Joke Thread?

[Silverbolt]

if not, here i go:

 

In an Israeli x Egyptian war (USSR days)

 

Israel starts to invade egypt's land...

 

quicly an egiptian general calls moscow to ask for orientations.

 

Egyptian general (EG)- Helo, here is General Mustafa, Israel began a huge invasion over Egyptian territory, what could we do to defeat those bastards?

 

Soviet General -(SG) here is General Ivanov, i advise you to retreat.

 

 

 

2nd day of war

EG- Israelis are taking controll of sinai, what should i do?

SG- Keep retreating

 

3th day:

EG- they are acrossing the suez, shall we start the counter attack?

SG- No, keep retreating

 

4th day

EG- They began to take over Cairo, what should i do?

SG-Now reinforce the city's defence and wait till the winter.

[Gr.Viper]

Hey, it worked twice for us, why not for others?

[+Spillone104]

Heheheh.... a general is missing in Egypt...

 

General Winter.

[xclusiv8]

hahahaha now that is humour!

[Slartibartfast]

Dont forget General Snow and Fog...

[Capitaine Vengeur]

Some other conflict-related jokes. The first still takes place in Sinai 1960s-70s, I think it's a Israeli joke.

 

An Egyptian regiment takes his positions into the desert, when the Egyptian colonel spots an Israeli soldier trying to hide behind the dunes.

 

He immediately dispatches three men to capture him. They pass the dune top, but none of them come back.

 

The colonel then dispatches a platoon. The Egyptians try to envelop the enemy soldier, passing the dune flanks, but none of them come back.

 

The colonel then dispatches an entire company, advancing in several waves. And after about ten minutes, a lone, wounded, terrified-looking soldier comes back and whispers:

 

"It was a trap, Effendi ... There were two of them !..."

 

 

 

 

The second joke imagines a conflict between USSR and China (it was close, at some moments)

 

On the first day, the Soviets capture 2 million prisoners. At the end of the first week, they have taken 9 million prisoners. After the second week, they hold 24 million prisoners, and at the end of the third week, an awesome total of 43 million. The Soviets absolutely don't know how to deal with such a human mass.

 

At that moment, Beijing rings Moscow and threatens: "Well, have you understood by now? Will you surrender?"

[Guest Raden]

hahahaha now that is humour!

 

There have been two, only two invincible Generals -- not of the hi-ly efficient Mossad, nor of the Pentagon, not of the Soviet GRU -- up to this day the world over! And you colonels would ask: "And who the hell these Generals?"

 

They are General TRADING, and the General Rules!!

 

And in Indonesia it's been the General Elections! 

Edited February 6, 2010 by Raden