Man Rules

[Dagger 21]

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"

From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

 

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,

or golf.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

 

I copied this from another forum, but wanted to share it with all my buds here!

Edited February 9, 2010 by Dagger

[+Dave 2,322]

That is great. I loved it. My wife is cool, like sports are not an issue because she watches them with me. The toliet seat rule has been established, I asked her that same thing years ago on what the difference was. She couldnt answer it, so if the seat is up, she doesnt bitch about it.

[OvS 8]

This is top notch stuff!!

[TX3RN0BILL 3]

Finally! The Truth in print! Great post!

[Slartibartfast 153]

ahhh another amusing start to the day...

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

It's been copied and printed..and now holds pride of place on the Fridge door... Mrs Widowmaker..TAKE NOTE!

 

Great post!

[DaSpungie 1]

one you forgot

 

show up naked and bring beer