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The Moral of Auntie Sharon

 

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get

their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell

their stories.

 

Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-

laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a

basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in

the road and all the eggs got broken.'

 

'What's the moral of that story?' asked the teacher.

 

'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'

 

'Very good,' said the teacher.

 

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are

farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One

day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten

live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your

chickens before they're hatched'.'

 

'That was a fine story Sarah.'

 

Michael, do you have a story to share?'

 

'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon.

Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War

and her plane got hit.

 

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a

bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

 

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and

then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

 

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she

ran out of bullets.

 

Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade

broke.

And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'

 

'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral

did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'

 

'Stay the f**k away from Aunty Sharon when she's been

drinking.'

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