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Hazardous Material Data Sheet

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Element: Woman

Symbol: O+

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Mass:  Accepted as 55-60kg, but known to vary from 40-225kg


Physical Properties:

1. Body Surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.

2. Boils at absolutely nothing--freezes for no apparent reason.

3. Found in various grades, ranging from virgin material to common ore.


Chemical Properties:

1. Reacts well to gold, platinum, and all precious stones.

2. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.

3. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.


Common Uses:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

2. Can greatly aid relazation.

3. Can be a very effective cleaning agent.



1. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.

2. Possession of more than one is possible, but speciments must never make eye contact.



I'm sure some of you have seen this before, but I found it going through a pile of papers today, and it made me chuckle, so I thought i'd share it with ya :grin: And I got this when my professor passed it out during class (accidentally, which made it even more funny) :haha:

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PG, hazard #2 reminds me of my long gone single days in Los Angeles. Four girlfriends, one in the Valley, Hollywood, Long Beach and Venice. One day two came over to bar I hung out at the same time :shok: , I saw them in the nick of time and bolted out the side door and up the elevator to my apartment. I was never so glad that it took special keys to get in the lobby and run the lift, but I hid at the girl in Venice Beach's place that weekend.

And people wonder why I'm paranoid, thank God I just have to put up with one wife and three daughters. :help:

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