Lemons

[+Erik 1,812]

LEMONS

At a local bar in downtown Bemidji, MN, the owner was so sure that his bartender was the strongest man around, that he offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then hand the lemon to the patron.

Anyone who could squeeze two more drops of juice out of it would win the money. Many people had tried over the years: weightlifters, longshoremen, etc., but nobody had ever been able to do it.
 
One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit. He sat down, ordered a glass of draft, & started looking around the bar. After reading the sign on the wall about the lemon challenge, he said in a small voice: "I was just reading your sign, and I'd like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said:  "Ok..."
He grabbed a lemon and squeezed the heck out of it. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow.

But the Crowd's laughter turned to total silence… as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon, and six drops fell into the glass.  As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the guy his $1000, and then asked the little man: 

"Do you mind if I ask what you do for a living?
Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"
The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for the IRS."

 

 

~ Everyone knows this is so painfully true. You know we left a country for being over taxed what the heck happened to us? Government is big business and we're feeding the machine. If this sounds like the Matrix you might think about taking the blue pill.

 

Enjoy.

 

[Spinners 15,986]

How true - that joke works in the UK too.

[JediMaster 451]

Actually, we left a country for being taxed without representation, a say in how those taxes were being used. They never complained about the amount of the tax, they complained that their money was being taken the same as those who lived elsewhere but that in all other respects they were persona non grata. THAT is what is still happening today. You vote people in but they do what the groups that funded their election want them to do, not what the people who voted for them want. Yet for some reason people now seem to think that means it was for being taxed at all.

 

I propose a newer simpler system. No more campaigns with funding. No more voting. No more personal taxes. The companies that previously spent a ton of money on lobbying and campaigns simply pay those same funds as taxes. They buy the candidates anyway, might as well formalize it. We're paying the gov't to do things that these companies pay to get the candidates elected to do. So instead of the companies paying for them and us paying for the gov't, let them pay direct. The companies pay the same amount, the gov't gets the same funding, but no tiresome elections that are rigged by gerrymandering (so only one party ever wins 95% of districts) and are just a rubber stamp on foregone conclusions anyway.

 

They never do what we want anyway, they do what the companies want, so let them pay for the privilege and leave us out. Make taxes based on revenue or profit, however they want to do it. If they make X, they pay Y. No more stupidity about "Well if you cut our taxes we can hire more people" when they NEVER hire more people when their taxes are cut, they only fire more when the taxes go up.

 

We have a gov't not of the people, by the people, for the people, but of the corporations, by the corporations, and for the corporations.