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fallenphoenix1986

Let us read from the Book of Avro:

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Found this while clearing out an old email inbox, thought you lot would appreciate it.

Let us read from the Book of Avro: 


"And lo, the great underpopulated landmass of the North saw that the CF-100, a great metal bird known as Canuck, had not the thrust nor the sleekness to get out of its own way, and the King of Cana'ada saw it ungood. "The Commies will stream henceforth over the Pole," he cried, "And our degenerate benefactor to the South hath not the winged chariots to meet the Commie enemy." 
"Yes," the Slide Rule Priests sang from their blessed cubicles, "And the Canuck hath the nasty visage of an ape's ass. Let us create for you a bird so magnificent that the people of Cana'ada will sing our praises henceforth." 

"And Lo, it was a sight of such beauty that appeared on the scrolls of of the Preists. "Oooo, pointy, eh" said they. And there was rejoicing throughout the Kingdom. The throne of Cana'ada gazed upon its beauty. "Oooo, pointy," said he. "Let us spend our gold on this, and let the Commie unbeliever tremble in his shoddily made sandals!" 

And it came to pass that the Great White Bird was constructed at great haste, a giant Winged Beast. "Oooo, pointy, eh!" cried the disciples of Ay, Vee, and Roe of Cana'ada. "Like an Arrow," said they. And there was much rejoicing on the new name which was bestowed upon it, as it was not a funny word like"Canuck." 

The Guardians of Orenda henceforth came groveling. Upon gazing on the Arrow, they exalted "Oooo, pointy!" The Guardians of Orenda then held forth their MIL-L-7808K GRADE 3-stained palms. "Woe is us, the poor haggard Powerplant Priests, have not yet created our great Turbine of Whoosh. We will require much more gold, and our schedule is subject to much slippage." 

"The King of Cana'ada was usurp'd, and the new King Dieffenbacker came to all the peoples of disciples of Ay, Vee, and Roe of Cana'ada and the Guardians of Orenda. He laid his eyes upon The Great Bird. "Oooo, pointy!" exclaimed he. "We are almost shorn of Gold, however...go forth at once to yon Program Managers posthaste and proclaim my words that ye shall fly this bird with Wimpy Turbines until such a time the Turbine of Whoosh, that hath been anointed with the name Ear-O-Kwoy, may be shoved henceforth into the Ass of the Bird." 

And for a time it was good. Many pleasing images were captured, both in all the colors of the rainbow and in dreary black and white, although the Bird was hobbled henceforth with a Wimpy Turbine. The good peoples of Cana'ada rose their eyes to the heavens, and spake as one: "Oooo, pointy!" 

But in the thronerooms of Cana'ada, all was not well. Then, with pockets pulled out to see the lining of the finest spun polyester therein, said "But, good people, our coffers are bare. Thou hast spoken though the forked tongues of Labour, and thou hast asked for all healers to work for me, so that I may pay the healers in kind. Forsooth, and zounds, the treasuries of the kingdom are now as bare as Janet of Jackson's breast! We have, alas, no more gold to build the Great Bird. Tear it usunder so that many cans of Molsons may be ensconsed within the shiny metal rendered!" 

A great cry rose among the Fourteen Thousand. Although they much enjoyed the mead of Molson, they were greatly distressed. "Nay! Nay!" But the Fiends of Labour had grown louder, and a choice was made for free healers. 

"We shall point to the Degenerate South, and blame them anon! Let us create theories of great Conspiracy, and blame the Evil Ones of Lock-Heed, Mother Boeing, and North American Aviation! They and their followers- lackeys- shall be forever cursed!! 

And then Celine Dion, the Great Revenge, was born in Cana'ada."

 

 

Craig

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