Erik

A young man is driving down the road and breaks down near a U.S. Marine Corps base. He walks to the front gate, and says to the sentry, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" To his surprise, the Marines accept him enthusiastically. They feed him at the officer's club, they fix his car at the motor pool, and they even allow him to sleep in the VIP quarters. But just as the man tries to fall asleep that night, he hears a strange sound. The sound continues all through the night and it stays with him through a restless sleep. The next morning, he asks the Marines what the sound was and they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine." The young man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same but now older man breaks down in front of the same Marine Corps base. Again walking to the sentry the Marines accept him enthusiastically, fix his car, and allow him to stay in the VIP quarters. That night, he hears the exact same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the Marines reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine." The man says, "All right, all right. I'm *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a Marine, how do I become one?" The Marines reply, "You must go to Parris Island, there to undergo several weeks of torturous behavior. You will be yelled at, put down, cut down, and physically exhausted. From there you will go on to receive infantry training. You will learn how to fight, fight to survive, and fight to win. You will learn how to act the Corps, breath the Corps, eat the Corps, sleep the Corps, be the Corps. When you finish these trials, you will be a Marine." The man sets about his task. He goes through boot camp, advanced infantry training, and is assigned to an MEU. While part of the MEU he is sent to fight in two small wars, and three "police actions." Three years later, while on leave, he returns to the Marine Corps base where he last heard that strange, strange sound. Standing there in his dress uniform, he says, "I have joined the Corps, and I have paid my dues. I have fought for the love of God, Country, and the Corps. The Marines reply, "Congratulations. You are now a Marine. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The Marines lead the man to a wooden door, where the Base Commander says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. may I have the key?" The Base Commander gives him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The Commander gives him the key and he opens the door only to find another door made of ruby. He demands another key from the Commander, who provides it. Behind that door is *another* door this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst... Finally, the Commander says, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. I wish I could tell you what it was he saw but I can't tell you because you're not a Marine.

The Chief was bragging to the Ensign one day. You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them. Tired of his boasting, the Ensign called his bluff, Okay, Chief, how about Tom Cruise. Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it. So they fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, Chief ! Great to see You! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! Although impressed, the Ensign is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells the Chief that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky. No, no, just name anyone else, the Chief says. President Obama, the Ensign quickly retorts. Yep I know him, let's fly out to Washington. So, off they go. At the White House, Obama spots them on the tour and motions them over, saying, Chief, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and that Ensign come on in and let's catch up. Well, the Ensign is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to the Chief, who again implores him to name anyone else. Pope Francis, the Ensign replies. Sure, I've known the Pope a long time. So, off they fly to Rome. They're assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when the Chief says, this will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope. He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's. Sure enough, half an hour later, the Chief emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time he returns, he finds that the Ensign has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his side, the Chief asks the Ensign, What's happened to you? The Ensign looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the people next to me asked, Who's that on the balcony next to the Chief?

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet, which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. The reply came back in true USMC style: Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down. Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location. Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position. The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster. Thank you for your concern. Semper Fi.

Sergeants' Methods A group of Sergeants and a group of Air Force Officers take a train to a conference. Each Officer holds a ticket. But the entire group of Sergeants has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The Officers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant Sergeants will finally get what they deserve. Suddenly one of the Sergeants calls out: "The conductor is coming!" At once, all the Sergeants jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the Officers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: "Ticket, please!" One of the Sergeants slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round. For the return trip the Officers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the Sergeants didn't buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the Sergeants announces again:"The conductor is coming!"Immediately all the Officers race to a toilet and lock themselves in. All the Sergeants leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last Sergeant enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Officers and says: "Ticket, please!" And the moral of the story? Officers like to use the methods of the Sergeants, but they don't really understand them.

The Army and the Air Force Try to Work Together There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,..... "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, ....."I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says,...... "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals" The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, ...... "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck" So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship" The Army guy replies, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, "Your turn!" The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

I'm sure it's totally legit but in the back of your mind you always have to wonder. **sarcasm** https://ua.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/victims-of-crime/marriage-dating-scams/

I think Kyiv is the only city left standing in the Ukraine but apparently that good fortune hasn't parlayed to the dating world if they're advertising here. I mean what could possibly go wrong with such a genuine invitation?

Calm professionalism in the midst of tragedy. Kudos to all involved and our deepest sympathies to the family of passenger Jennifer Riordan.

The loss of a national treasure and matriarch of the Republican Party departed her great life yesterday as a nation mourns her passing. 21 Gun S!

Scientists have discovered that anger, foul moods, fighting, distrust, and over all poor health conditions occur after eating this super food. This food is so dangerous it will almost eliminate your sex life, cause you to give up and sell all your hobbies, cause you to loose all of your money, and if that's not bad enough eventually all your friends will no longer want to be around you. We are warning every one that this food is so dangerous it should be illegal in most 50 states. It is highly recommended that you avoid this food at all costs and keep in mind it is not gender or orientation specific, this food affects everyone. Amen!

His service and career an inspiration to many. May gallant trumpets roar heralding him to the here after. S!

Ahhh yes and what a beautiful sound it is.

You should re-read the last sentence. #noteverythingisfromthemalepointofview

For most aircraft that's real damage. For the hog that's a nose bleed. She's a bad ass triple redundant tank with huge teeth. Fairchild built one hell of a platform and to think that the ole hog was developed in the early 70's, in-serviced to the military in '77, and still actively flown today makes her in a league of her own. Go get a cup of coffee and remember to breath and relax when removing the seat cushion from your backside.

Your graphics environment is most likely set: YES or ON for Hardware Graphics Acceleration. TURN IT OFF. You'll have to research how to accomplish that as it's specific to OS, hardware, software, and settings.

The resize issue has to do with the center ad (in yellow in your examples). GoogleAds is limited in the way they handle and render ads so the fix for this isn't something easy like shrinking our format. As for the spelling suggestion issue it looks like that's a browser extension and if so it probably isn't updated to latest browser standards. You might check to see if there's an update for that or file a bug report with the vendor. The same would go for if the functionality is provided by an app, add-on, or installed software. Chrome from my experience doesn't act like the image you provided. Chrome (stock) will provide a red underline (as most browsers do) to misspelled words but not offer suggestions or allow you to append a dictionary like that. I'm not a fan of extensions like Grammarly, for example, that not only provide writing functions like grammar and spelling but also can and do record everything you write, for "support and betterment" reasons of course. Not the best answers but they are the best ones I have. E

I never watched the show. I did however see some newspaper articles about that sick bastard while visiting LSU.

No worries. Glad I could help and things are working like they should (until I get a wild hair and decide to upgrade again which is probably going to be fairly soon).

It all depends on who's around to review files and approve them which is why some may be fast and others slower. Just the way the site works in whole.

If my track car pitched to that degree when accelerating and braking there wouldn't be a single guy in the pit crew not looking for a new job.

Mike was always terrific and his interactions were professional and adult. No hard feelings or controversy here especially when the honor of the man here is way more important than any petty squabbles that may have happened long ago. :no-shade: