+Fates 63 Posted August 11, 2003 Found this at Skyhawk.org....thought some might like it here Chiefs Provided by Whizzer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- REAL CHIEFS Think Ensigns should be seen and not heard, and never, ever, be allowed to read books on leadership. REAL CHIEFS Don't have any civilian clothes. REAL CHIEFS Have CPO Association Cards from their last 5 commands. REAL CHIEFS Don't remember any time they weren't Chief's. REAL CHIEFS Propose like this "There will be a wedding at 1000 hours on 29 October, be there in whites with your gear packed because you will be a prime participant." REAL CHIEFS Favorite national holiday is CPO Initiation. REAL CHIEFS Keeps four sets of dress khaki uniforms in the closet in hopes they will come back. REAL CHIEFS Favorite food is shipboard SOS for breakfast. REAL CHIEFS Don't know how to tell civilian time. REAL CHIEFS Call each other "Chief." REAL CHIEFS Greatest fear is signing for property book items. REAL CHIEFS Dream in Navy Blue, White, Haze Gray and occasionally khaki. REAL CHIEFS Have served on ships that are now war memorials or tourist attractions. REAL CHIEFS Get tears in their eyes when the "Chief" dies in the movie "Operation Pacific." REAL CHIEFS Don't like Certified Navy Twill. "Wash Khaki" is the ONLY thing to make a uniform out of. REAL CHIEFS Can find their way to the CPO Club blindfolded, on 15 different Navy Bases. REAL CHIEFS Have pictures of ships in their wallets. REAL CHIEFS Don't own any pens that do not have "Property U.S. Govt" on them. REAL CHIEFS Don't voluntarily get the mandatory flu shots. REAL CHIEFS Don't order supplies, they swap for them. REAL CHIEFS Favorite quote is from the movie Ben Hur, "We keep you alive to serve this ship." REAL CHIEFS Think excessive modesty is their only fault. REAL CHIEFS Hate to write evaluations, except for their own. REAL CHIEFS Turn in a 4 page brag sheet for their evaluation. REAL CHIEFS Last ship was always better. REAL CHIEFS Know that the black tar in their coffee cup makes the coffee taste better. REAL CHIEFS Idea of heaven-Three good PO1's and a Division Officer who does what he is told. REAL CHIEFS Think John Wayne would have made a good Chief, if he had not gone soft and made Marine movies. REAL CHIEFS Use the term "Good Training" to describe any unpleasant task...Scraping the sides of the ship is "Good Training." Having to sleep on your seabag in the parking lot because there was no room in the barracks is "Good Training." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
navychief 1 Posted August 11, 2003 Ahem..... Now you got me started. Rules as they apply to The Chief THE CHIEF IS ALWAYS RIGHT. IN THE IMPOSSIBLE HYPOTHESIS THAT A SUBORDINATE MAY BE RIGHT, SEE ABOVE. THE CHIEF DOES NOT SLEEP, HE RESTS. THE CHIEF IS NEVER LATE, HE IS DETAINED ELSEWHERE. THE CHIEF NEVER LEAVES WORK, HIS PRESENCE IS REQUIRED ELSEWHERE. THE CHIEF NEVER READS THE PAPER IN THE MESS, HE STUDIES. THE CHIEF NEVER GOES ON LIBERTY WITH HIS JUNIORS, HE CONDUCTS TRAINING SESSIONS. WHOEVER CONFRONTS THE CHIEF WITH AN IDEA OF HIS OWN, MUST LEAVE WITH THE CHIEF'S IDEA. THE CHIEF IS ALWAYS THE CHIEF, EVEN IN HIS SHOWER SHOES. and then there's: THE LEGEND OF THE CPO FAIRY The legend of the CPO fairy has been lost for centuries, but has made a comeback in recent years. As the legend goes, the CPO fairy was a brave selectee, who was far and again above all other selectees, but seconds after the cherished moment (pinning on the anchors), the brave selectee died as a result of the initiation proceedings. So, impressed was the judge, that the brave selectee was posthumously promoted to E-9. Now the ghost of that brave selectee, the CPO Fairy, appears each year at this time to protect all selectees. Now, all selectees can have a guardian angel through the initiation by just placing a collar devise under their pillow and saying the following prayer; CPO fairy, please protect me I've worked very hard to become a selectee Keep me safe initiation day Save my money, and this I pray.... I'll be brave and I won't budge And I'll honor you with "KISS OFF JUDGE!" No one ever sees the CPO fairy, but it's real, and you know its been there by the little piles of khaki "Ca Ca" it leaves everywhere, to bless the path of new CPO's. and my ALL TIME FAVORITE: The Chain of Command Admiral - Leaps over tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy guidance to God. Captain - Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a small engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if the sea is calm. Talks with GOD. Commander - Leaps short buildings with a running start. Is almost as powerful as a small engine. Is slower than a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special form is provided. Lieutenant commander - Barely clears little huts. Lose tug of war with small engine . Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD. Lieutenant - Crashes into buildings trying to leap over them. Is run over by small engines. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals. Lieutenant Junior Grade - Cannot recognize buildings. Recognizes small engines two or three times. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat if instructed in Mae West. Talks to walls. Ensign - Falls over doorstep when trying to enter a building. Says"Look at the Choo-choo" when locomotive passes by. Not allowed elastic for his slingshot. Plays in puddles. Mumbles to himself. Chief Petty Officer - Lifts tall buildings and walks under them. Kicks Locomotives off tracks. Catches Bullets in teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. He is GOD. Have a Great Navy Day... navychief P.S. For a GREAT site about Chief Petty Officers, go to the "Goat Locker" at: http://goatlocker.org/cpo.htm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SDirickson 0 Posted August 12, 2003 Chief, I hope that some day as an ensign I may earn the respect of you and your peers. And recognize buildings as ships built by Army 2LT civil engineers; i.e., not on water like they should have been. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*Fast Eagle* 0 Posted August 12, 2003 Chief, you don't know how right you are!!! Anyway, I'M BACK...Sorry I've been gone so long, busy times, and I thought a staff job was gonna allow me more time!! BAH <S> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
snapple2993 0 Posted August 12, 2003 LOOK! LOOK! :shock: :shock: He has risen from the dead... Welcome back skipper. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MadJeff 3 Posted August 12, 2003 FE!! Welcome back! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CowboyTodd41 133 Posted August 12, 2003 Fast Eagle! Whats up! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+pcpilot 181 Posted August 15, 2003 The CPO Fairy???!!?? Somebody was at sea too long... :roll: Thanks for the CPO link, added it to my "military" links in my favorites folder. Welcome back Fast Eagle. Hows business these days? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
