Dear Santa

[+Geary 1,889]

Dear Santa,

 

  I have been a good boy this year...  I have tried to be a good boy this year....

 

 Can you really 'see me when I'm sleeping?'  (I find that a bit perverted and ironic for a guy that's 'supposedly' keeping an eye on me to see if I've been good (or not)).     And why didn't you tell me I grind my teeth in my sleep.  A simple word from you and a $20 plastic mouth guard for Christmas would've saved me a ton of money in dental bills and tooth aches.          ... (Hey, is that you touching me at night?                    ... I'm not complaining ;)

 

  As long as you've been watching me, maybe I should explain a few incidents this past year that at face value, you might have misconstrued.

 

  1.  Shooting the neighborhood cats with a BB Gun is an approved training method.  You no doubt noticed they use my yard as a litter box much less frequently than they used to in fact many of them avoid my yard altogether.  I consider their training successful (except for that large yellow, tabby, tom cat.  We may have to use the weighted 'Gunny sack' treatment on him.)  And as cats have nine lives, if I accidentally put a golden bb through one or two cat heads, they can just return from hell and start over again. No harm, no foul.

 

  2.  Throwing barbiturate laced treats over my next-door-neighbor's fence was a friendly gesture and intended to help calm their dogs.  They shouldn't have been in the back yard barking and howling at midnight, anyway.  (The dogs, not the neighbors.)  They don't seem to do it quite as much anymore and seem well rested.  Embedding the sleeping calming pills in Ex-lax is an approved medical procedure.  Dogs like chocolate treats and it simultaneously deworms them.     My neighbors are coincidently contributing to the local economy as evidenced by the numerous carpet cleaning services visiting them this holiday season.  (You may want to bring them some tile flooring for Christmas.)

 

  3.  Regarding the Jehovah Witness ladies that came to my door recently;  A 'No Solicitors' sign is CLEARLY posted by my door.  If they choose to ignore a person's wishes on that person's personal property, they must suffer the consequences of their own actions.  Besides, Providence shined on them that day, as none seemed to be seriously injured in their hasty departure.  (They shouldn't wear high heels when they determine to accost poor innocent souls in their own homes.)  And I'm sure, notwithstanding their religious leanings, women of their age have seen a naked man before.  Although my jerking the door open so quickly may have surprised them.  But I appreciate their prayers for me that day.  I haven't heard so may women screaming 'My God!' at the same time since that orgy in Miami in the '80s.

 

  So, now that we've cleared that up, I should get to my wish list so you can have time to appropriate my presents. 

 

  Mostly this year I would like some Skins for some of my Strike Fighters planes.  (I've attempted to paint these skins myself but only succeeded in making myself nauseous.  I still wake up at night in a cold sweat after a nightmare recalling the pitiful groans of the mutated and deformed skins as I used a government approved deletion program to cleanse them from my computer.  No one should witness such horrors.)

 

 

First, I would like a French Navy Blue skin for a Thirdwire (TW) A-7E.  (Like the TW DLC F-8E_FN skin,)  The blue should be the color of that French girl's eyes.  Remember the one I met on the French Riviera a few years back?   The one that slapped me sober.  I attribute that misunderstanding to that fine French Brandy, my lack for French language skills and her not understanding slurred American English.  I thought 'Parlez vous, Humma Humma' was understood by all French girls.  And honestly, I don't know how my hand got on her ...  Well, never mind, the police dropped the charges and were kind enough to escort me on my way out of their jurisdiction. 

 

Second, I would like a Natural Metal skin for the TW Hawker Hunter.  Who doesn't like natural skin? And the Hunter will look sexy naked.

 

Third, I would like a SEA Skin for the TW F-8E Crusader.  Just an old dream from my Vietnam days. 

 

There's a lot more I would like to ask for, but some of the other guys from Combat Ace may want to append their wishes to this post.  I should state clearly here that I have NOTHING to do with weather they were good or not.  That's strictly between them and you.  Let them explain any of their actions that you may have misconstrued.

 

 

Yours sincerely, truly,

 

 

Geary

[Spinners 15,986]

Lavochkin La-19 'Freebird' - PVO Strany, 1962

 

 

 

I've also asked Santa for a SEA Crusader skin (or a template).

[Wrench 9,846]

templates for the Corsair II have been available for over a year....

===============

[+331Killerbee 840]

Dear Santa,

 

  Please send Me (PLEASE) One of those things that will blow My Ole' Lady's Hair Back! Then she'll stop bothering Me and I can play more Strike Fighters. Besides, I'm running out of Viagra for the Month.  

 

 

 

 

 

Be My Luck, I'll just get a chunk of Coal.........

[+Geary 1,889]

Spinners,

 

  In all probability I'm on Santa's Naughty list.  (At lease that's what friends, family and neighbors say.)

 

  So, here's wishing you get the F-8 Crusader template (cause I don't think I'm getting anything from Santa).  If you do, don't forget the spirit of giving.  If you do forget, get a bottle of spirits.

 

   Is that La-19 available?

 

 

Wrench,

 

  I attempted painting the A-7.  I still shudder at the thought of the results.  May God forgive me.

 

 

Killerbee,

 

   Good luck, man.  And remember, you can burn the coal for heat in the winter or have a wiener roast (just be careful which wiener you roast).

[+RAVEN 414]

Dear Santa

 

Uma Thureman.

[+Geary 1,889]

Dear Santa

 

Uma Thureman.

 

Raven,

 

  Have you NOT seen Kill Bill 1 & 2?   If you have ... You're sick, man.   But good luck to you and if you get your Christmas wish from Santa, watch your nads!

[+331Killerbee 840]

Yea,

       That's it........Uma Thurman and one of those things that blows Your Hair back.

[Spinners 15,986]

Spinners,

 

    Is that La-19 available?

 

 

No, it was one of my 'disposable' ones. I'll ship the skin over to you but it might be in a few days as I'm away on missionary work in England for a few days.

 

If you can't wait until then try ndicki's superb Hunter templates. Select a good light grey and then boost your speculation and reflection levels right up high (a stock silver Third Wire MiG will give you some values to play with).

[+Geary 1,889]

No, it was one of my 'disposable' ones. I'll ship the skin over to you but it might be in a few days as I'm away on missionary work in England for a few days.

 

If you can't wait until then try ndicki's superb Hunter templates. Select a good light grey and then boost your speculation and reflection levels right up high (a stock silver Third Wire MiG will give you some values to play with).

 

 

I can definitely wait for your skin, but I can also try again with the Hunter templates.  I tried both ndicki's and the TW Hunter templates.  Just can't seem to produce a quality product.