+Dave 2,321 Posted December 27, 2013 Bring it in. Take a knee. Meach, low crawl up here. On Wednesday afternoon (Christmas), I received a phone call from a distraught Mrs. Meach. It seems her ungrateful son received his gifts of Legos and a Boba Fett action figure (with rocket launcher), and decided that an email would suffice to convey his love and gratitude for her decades of grueling motherhood. That's right, Mrs. Meach called me on Christmas day to tell me that her son hadn't called her. No, it seems that Young Meach has found himself an Oak Grove Trailer Manatee, with three kids and five "baby daddies", preferring instead to spend some time with her brood. You have heard me warn you in great detail of the dangers of the affections of the Clarksville wildlife, but the trailer parks of Oak Grove and Pembroke make Clarksville seem like Miami, verdant and lush with blossoming supermodels. Young Meach has been fooled, lured into madness with the undulating rolls of elbow flaps and excess neck. In time, he'll be stuck paying child support for a cross-eyed mongoloid half-wit named Timmy, complete with helmet and drool-catcher. This, all because Miss Trailer Manatee let him touch her boobs. Meach, until I hear from your mother that you have called her, and satisfied her desire to know about your every life choice, meal selection, sneeze, or fart, you will low crawl wherever you go. You will not walk, run, or crawl. You will not sit. You will not stand, not even to piss, until I have heard from Mrs. Meach that you are once again "her charming, snuggly little boy". For the rest of you, you are here because your families hate you. I don't know this, but it seems a reasonable assumption, as you're here with me instead. In case you've forgotten, I don't like you either. Because no one likes you, I want you gone from here before the echo of my words has faded. You will show up on Monday, shaved, with a fresh haircut, and ready for strenuous PT. I hope you vomit. The Five Ds: 1. Don't do dudes.2. Don't do dudes' wives.3. Don't do drugs.4. Don't drink and drive.5. Don't beat your wife. Meach, recover. Drink water. Now, get the hell out of my AO! -Bullwinkle 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+daddyairplanes 9,897 Posted December 27, 2013 sadly, i hear this in mooses voice.......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+CrazyhorseB34 937 Posted December 29, 2013 Oh the memories of the days when I was a Warrior King. I would pay $50 to smoke Meach! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JediMaster 451 Posted December 30, 2013 sadly, i hear this in mooses voice.......... Thank you!!!! Hey, Rocky... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
