And now for something completely Different... Genius quote...

[Slartibartfast 153]

...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it...

 

Add more if you want...

[JediMaster 451]

What...is your name?

King Arthur!

What...is your quest?

To find the Holy Grail.

What...is the air velocity wingspeed of an unladen swallow?

Which do you mean, African or European?

I don't know--ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

How do you know so much about swallows?

Well you have to know these things when you're king, you know?

[MigBuster 2,870]

Knight: Thats easy!!

 

Bridge keeper: what is your favorite colour?

knight: Red..........................no blue...aaaaarrgghh

[JediMaster 451]

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate??

[Derk 265]

Oh, no, not again, now the rest of the night will be Monty Python, starting with the Holy Handgrenade, then the Knights who say Ni and so on and so on............

 

 

A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20: 

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five. 
Galahad: Three, sir. 

 

 

AMEN......
King Arthur: Three.

Edited January 14, 2014 by Derk

[JediMaster 451]

Cover me!

With what?

Just...cover me!

[von Baur 54]

My favorite:

 

"Message for you, sir."