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Erik

Speed Trap

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Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar   One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.

The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet, which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.

Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander.  The reply came back in true USMC style:

Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident.

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to  the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.

The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Thank you for your concern.  Semper Fi. 

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HaHa!!

 

have heard variations of this for years - always hilarious. 

true story -

On a long cross country we were working the HF and managed to hook into a CB channel and chatted with some truckers.  One of them asked who we were and we said were a radar tracking plane.  His question was whether we could track trucks - and I said yes, and I'm holding you 14 over the speed limit.  Turns out that was dead on.  He and everyone else on the channel are now True Believers.....

 

Edited by Typhoid
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Nice one's :)

A few from my Boatswain years in the RCN cadets :

1- While working on the engine room on a training ship we had a problem on the compressor and i said we were having trouble getting steam under pressure and a newby asked what we should do. The other boatswain asked him to go get a steam bucket in the chain room. We wera laughing our asses when he went for it. When he came back he said he was sorry, but when he left the steam was in the bucket but on his way back he spilled it everywhere :) Smart guy!

2- On night duty watch on an island we had way too much time to waste :) So in the night we buried a garden hose and made it pop out from a wooden pit that covers a drain hole. The next morning we told a recruit that if water was coming out from the hole he should warn us because it means the island integrity is compromised and the island itself was sinking. We waited about 45 minutes and open the garden hose. When the water went out straight in the air we heard : ''The island is sinking, the island is sinking'' along with a boy running in every direction. Priceless!

3- We asked a recruit to go get the parade square keys at the main warehouse. He looked at us like you're kidding right? The Gunny next to us smell the joke and looked at him and said : ''Look son, I asked them to ask you. Do i look like i make jokes?'' We heard no Sarge, sorry sarge, i'll be right back sarge! We had to tell the boy 4 hours later to stop his search as he went from dept. to another as everybody was diving in the joke... But he was thinking now the key did exist :)

 

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