+Fates 63 Posted August 20, 2008 RETIREMENT BONUS The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The old Chief calmly replied, " Vietnam ." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
triplethr3at 0 Posted August 20, 2008 hahaha. thats great. My father new a different version of the same joke. same punch line but the guy was in a hospital where the president asked him for one wish and the guy asked for one dollar for every inch from his testcles to his u know what. O and this time his testicles where in Iraq Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+CrimsonRoamer 1 Posted August 20, 2008 When I hear that it was the benevolent Catholic Irish Barrister and the tenant against the Evil Protestant Landlord during the famine. These jokes are very well travelled Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tank03 1 Posted August 21, 2008 That's the first time I've heard that and I laughed my a$$ off. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nesher 628 Posted August 24, 2008 know the joke but it's funny everytime :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
