+Dave 2,322 Posted September 26, 2008 I think we may need to enlist the Lazer Cats to fight the Eel menace......thoughts? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caesar 305 Posted September 26, 2008 Considering the high mobility of eels in hovercraft, I'd say utilizing a directed energy weapon such as a las(z?)er cat could work very well. It must be considered, however, that cats are easily distracted, and tracking a hovercraft might become secondary to, say, a rolling ball of dust. On the other hand, if the eels were to reach their objective in their hovercraft and unload, the cats may just have the advantage if deployed in the eel LZ; I doubt they'd give up the chance for free sea food, seared to perfection with their laser beam eyes. I think it's worth the risk. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Dave 2,322 Posted September 26, 2008 Interesting perspective. I wonder what Tipari has to say? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gbnavy61 1 Posted September 26, 2008 It seems to me that we have a stalemate similar to France versus England in the late 18th early 19th century - the Tiger versus the Shark. On the one hand, you have a formidable land power with high technology, however, they are deathly afraid of water. They'll probably only swim to save their own lives and it would be swimming towards the nearest shore, not out to meet the enemy. Opposing them, you have the maritime power. They possess the advantage of mobility - initiative in any amphibious landing - however, once ashore, they are completely out of their element and will be repulsed by any shore defenses. Until one side or another adopts air power, I don't see any decisive advantage. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wrench 9,810 Posted September 26, 2008 Bats. with bombs. Airpower problem solved! Wrench kevin stein Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gbnavy61 1 Posted September 26, 2008 I think we're about to get into a Pythonesque debate about weight ratios... But, wouldn't the felines be tempted to eat said bats? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caesar 305 Posted September 26, 2008 Well, the bat bombs did work back in the 1940's, only we never employed them (there was actually a show on History about weird weapons, to include the bat bombs). What I'm thinking is, if the cats can laze the hovercraft full of eels from the shoreline, they will have an overwhelming advantage. Of course the eels can abandon their hovercraft and try to get to shore. Now, if the eels hope to do damage to us, they'll have to get ashore and then the cats also have a big advantage. If bat bombs are to be used, yes, I'd say that is a hazard to our cat defenses. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Zurawski 33 Posted September 26, 2008 I'll offer the suggestion of utilizing the vaunted yet much maligned multi-purpose Mongoose with the modular jet-pack option... Equally effective against lazered feline, hovering eels and the ever dangerous bomb-bats. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Zurawski 33 Posted September 26, 2008 Iguanas. Formidable option... but not very effective in the northern cold-climate incursions IMHO... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
column5 63 Posted September 26, 2008 Formidable option... but not very effective in the northern cold-climate incursions IMHO... Iguanas in little parkas. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Zurawski 33 Posted September 26, 2008 Iguanas in little parkas. Ah, but heat is lost quickest through the head and extremities, I postulate mittens, thermal foot/claw wear and a some type of winterized head-gear would be necessary to keep them a highly motivated fighting force... However, with this additional gear, I wonder how effective their level of mobility would be... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eraser_tr 29 Posted September 26, 2008 I'm shocked to see nobody has suggested the obvious lazer sharks. Unmatched mobility in water, extreme detection range, whether the eels remain in their hovercrafts or disembark, lazer sharks will tear them to pieces. Then, should any make it to shore, the lazer cats can take care of it. Or what about Beagles with Javelins? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Zurawski 33 Posted September 26, 2008 I'm shocked to see nobody has suggested the obvious lazer sharks. Unmatched mobility in water, extreme detection range, whether the eels remain in their hovercrafts or disembark, lazer sharks will tear them to pieces. Then, should any make it to shore, the lazer cats can take care of it. Or what about Beagles with Javelins? Sigh... your understanding of equipping various animals for warfare is obviously very limited... The infamous "lazer shark" is a fable. Thus use of lazers underwater is impossible due to refractive qualities of water, which I care not to go too in-depth with... And Beagles with javelins? My dear boy... Due to their lengthy ears, the run-up prior to launching said javelins is rift with tripping hazards... Because of this, their full attention is never truly on their targets... Not to mention once they do heave their projectiles, they are nothing more than doe eyed cute canine targets... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gbnavy61 1 Posted September 26, 2008 Sigh... your understanding of equipping various animals for warfare is obviously very limited... The infamous "lazer shark" is a fable. Thus use of lazers underwater is impossible due to refractive qualities of water, which I care not to go too in-depth with... And Beagles with javelins? My dear boy... Due to their lengthy ears, the run-up prior to launching said javelins is rift with tripping hazards... Because of this, their full attention is never truly on their targets... Not to mention once they do heave their projectiles, they are nothing more than doe eyed cute canine targets... Sir, I believe you are mistaking your dog breeds. Basset hounds have the long ears, beagles, relatively short by comparison. Although, I do agree a beagle assault force facing laser cat landing defenses would need more modern armament than javelins. Perhaps, something of the fully-automatic weapon variety. And haven't we forgotten that in order for a successful seaborne landing, the eels would obviously prep the beach with naval gunfire. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caesar 305 Posted September 26, 2008 Well, hold on for a second here, aren't we working on how to defeat the eel problem by using the cats? The Javelinere Beagles might prove to be a problem if we're employing lazer cats; the beagles may fire on the cats, while the cats will fire back with laser beams, which will get the whole thing distracted from the eels and the eels will win because our defenses are attacking each other! Unless we can keep the Beagles in a firing position away from the lazer cats, they'll become a liability. On the other hand, the beach assault by the eels will depend on whether or not the lazer cat's lasers can outrange whatever the eels can fit on their hovercraft. I'm not sure of the effective range of the cat's lasers, but if they outrange the eel's costal bombardment, the cats won't need support. If they do, however, we'll need a secondary defense to hit the bombarding ships, preferably something from the air that won't distract the cats, or attack them, for that matter! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thundercheif 1 Posted September 26, 2008 Dolfins equipped with tomahawk missiles. They are fast, agile and intelligent. they are perfectly fit for killing. They can jump up next to the hovercraft, fire the missile and escape underwater. And even if the eels should make it to land the tomahawk has plenty of range... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Dave 2,322 Posted September 26, 2008 I have to agree with Caesar, cats and dogs in the same AO will spell nothing but disaster. We have to scratch that idea completely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gbnavy61 1 Posted September 26, 2008 Well, hold on for a second here, aren't we working on how to defeat the eel problem by using the cats? The Javelinere Beagles might prove to be a problem if we're employing lazer cats; the beagles may fire on the cats, while the cats will fire back with laser beams, which will get the whole thing distracted from the eels and the eels will win because our defenses are attacking each other! Unless we can keep the Beagles in a firing position away from the lazer cats, they'll become a liability. On the other hand, the beach assault by the eels will depend on whether or not the lazer cat's lasers can outrange whatever the eels can fit on their hovercraft. I'm not sure of the effective range of the cat's lasers, but if they outrange the eel's costal bombardment, the cats won't need support. If they do, however, we'll need a secondary defense to hit the bombarding ships, preferably something from the air that won't distract the cats, or attack them, for that matter! I had assumed for ideological differences that the cats and dogs would be on opposing sides. If the laser cats really are using lasers, then, range is unlimited, provided it is line of sight. The crafty eels may be able to use ballistics to their advantage and lob shells over obstructing terrain, possibly neutralizing the laser's advantage. Then, the eels may also choose to use over the horizon weapons before moving forces in closer for the amphibious operation. And, what if the eels were able to mount railguns on their naval vessels? That could be a decisive advantage - increasing range and damage from ballistic weaponry. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eraser_tr 29 Posted September 26, 2008 (edited) No! No! No! I mean replace the cats with beagles, and by Javelin, I mean the modern anti-tank variety. You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Sharks with torpedoes? Ill-tempered mutated sea bass at least? Has intel found out if they're electric eels? Edited September 26, 2008 by eraser_tr Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gbnavy61 1 Posted September 27, 2008 Ah, I misunderstood "Javelin." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MAKO69 186 Posted September 27, 2008 (edited) Laser Cats are the most powerful weapon in the Universe Nuff said. Edited September 27, 2008 by MAKO69 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Dave 2,322 Posted September 27, 2008 Laser Cats are the most powerfull weapon in the Universe Nuff said. No, Mr T. is the most powerful thing in the universe. GET SOME NUTZ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
column5 63 Posted September 27, 2008 No, Mr T. is the most powerful thing in the universe. GET SOME NUTZ! Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is the most powerful weapon in the universe. This can be proven because the big bang was the result of Chuck Norris kicking a ninja in the face. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
