When Nature Calls

[ARCHER 0]

i was playing the demo other night and was flying around in the wonderful mig 29,

and i thought about how real pilots on a long sortie,if nature called on them?

theres no can in a fighter?that really would be a bummer at 30 000 feet up

1hour into a cap and you need to go real bad? or is it a case of hold it in ctrl?

or is there a urine hose system connected to flight suits? for long flights?

 

:P

Edited October 31, 2003 by ARCHER

[+Monty CZ 209]

When you are surprised by some bandits at 30,000 ft you dont need to solve that problem any longer :-)

[Guest MrMudd]

We use what is called a "Piddle Pack"

 

It is basically a bag with a sponge to pee into. the women have a special adapter more suited for their anatomy called the "Lady J"

 

Its always a good idea to make frequent passes at a bathroom before going on a long flight. ;)

[ARCHER 0]

wow thx for the info mr mudd,take it long haul flights yous carry fluids to drink and maybe something to eat too? or am i going to far?

Edited October 31, 2003 by ARCHER

[Guest MrMudd]

Sure we take things with us, them long over the watter ferry hops, can take allot out of a guy. Or any patrol where you are up a for 10 hours etc...

 

Just need to be careful on anything that could explode if cabin pressure was lost or other eventualities. Glass bottles etc.

 

I stick to water as it hydrates the body quicker, and I love orange juice..thats always good with keeping you calm. anything with caffeine or sugars, sweetners will make you restless and irritable. Sometimes being strapped into a tight cockpit fighter really sux! but you get used to it. You have no choice. So i choose to take things with me that keep me focused and relaxed.

 

Food wise i stick with crackers, cereals etc. they sit well in the stomach and fill you up quick, so ythat you can get back to the buisness at hand. And not worry about having an accident...... ;)

 

As for Beer, well anyfighterpilot will tell you....if you drink like us, their is plenty of of brew in the body, Long before you step to the Jet. Gotta love 100% o2, The best anidote for a hangover from last nights squadron Bar and panty raid! but them days are over with. I was fortunate to start my Flying Career back when our multirole fighters were new. B)

 

Todays flying enviroment prevents things of that nature takeing place.

[ARCHER 0]

10 hours must be a real butt killer, i mean suffer from cramp maybe even sleepyness can catch up on you,is there exercises you do in

cockpit, i mean not a case where you can get out and stretch lol,

also most pilots state in a combat situation its 99% boredom 1% Adreniline and fear.

Edited October 31, 2003 by ARCHER

[Guest MrMudd]

The good thing is that their is the hotmike and the radios. we talk allot of smack to each other, and general idle chatting goes on, I ofton keep myself busy running the systems, lantirn target pods, the radar etc.

 

It can be pretty amusing at times, Calling out contacts, airliners etc. "heavy at 1 o'clock FoX 1" yada yada, its always good for a laugh. most of time when i had a Backseater we would go over attack profiles and pubs to entertain oursleves. its always a good idea to go over emergency drills and situations. When your over water, its always a good policy to have those things concious in the back of your mind.

 

Their is no doubt about it, You have to constantly work at fighting the boredom and the fatigue. this is what i do, to keep my mind off the clock...It is when you are complacent and bored that bad stuff sneaks up on you. This is a position you never want to be in. Being bored is being unaware....

 

In combat, your senses and workload is quite overwelming....its only when your back in the safe area returning that you have time to reflect on that chaos you were in a few moments ago.... Their is rarely any boredom that takeplace their, Only a beer, a shower, and most times the bed is what you look forward to most. The job is very demanding on your body and mind.

 

When i was in my 20's there was no stopping me from heading out to the town with warriors in my squadron to toss suds and chase women till dawn.

 

Its allot differnt matter when you have a family and are in your late 30's....with a ton of good/Bad experiances and buddies you have known that didnt survive to the point your at today.

[switch 0]

While back, I listened to an audio tape from a sortie somewhere over Germany.

It was mostly F-16C`s and couple of D`s. One of the instructors in a D must have

had a rough night... or something. 5 minutes after the G warm-ups, you could

hear a strange dialog developing between him and his front seater. Something

about the smell... Soon after they called an inflight emergency. But when the

controller asked about the "nature" of the emergency, the student just bursted out!

I forget how the hell he described it, but it was hellarious. Not so funny for the

poor instructor. I believe in his case it was too much coffee!

[Charlie 0]

Yeah, its no tlike the 20 minutes of glory you see on Top Gun. We sent planes over the beach at 2300 and didnt welcome them back till around 0700. Imagine flying a mission over Afghanistan for 8 hours just to have to make a cat trap at the end of it.

 

Mudd, the way your talking, I bet your jet is like Charlie Sheens in "Hot Shots".

 

Mudd: "Now, where did I put that darn cracker.... oh I know" <rolls inverted : Looks up at canopy> "Hey, there it is. Hey, wait, I knew I brought that banana with me last week. Ill be darned!!"

[Seawolf 0]

one thing nice about the Viking, being able to unstrap,safe the seat, and use the aft avionics tunnel to do our business.lol

Just dont slip and wizz all over the acoustics computer and your ok.lol

[Guest MrMudd]

LOL Charlie!

 

I did have some Chiken Biscuit crackers in my Map case i forgot about. Mixed it up with Some A-7's for sh*ts and giggles, I had chiken biscuits and a leaking Bota bag spewing its slimy mess all over the cockpit. My DCC was not at all happy i just made soup in his jet. "Sir what the hell you guys do up there anyways. Hehehe Soooo sorrrrrryyyy...Damn Guardsman tried to get the drop on me. ill give ya a copy of the tape, I got 3 out of 4 B)

 

 

I have used that technique in the past to pick things up ive lost.... Rolling inverted you find all kinds of things. Especially that Grease pen you dropped while marking up important info on the Canopy, only to drop it, and need to write something down real fast being relayed to you by a TACP or a FAC(A). A little shake, rattle and roll helps ;)

 

A guy i know On the east Coast F16 Demo team had a map light come loose on him during a demo. It was whipping around and hitting him in the helmet. He ended up grabbing it while he was inverted at the top of the loop. he quickly grabbed it and got it stowed, the bad thing was he was now 400+ knots heading straight at the ground Stage Center, and barely pulled off a 9G pullout. He told me the only thought in his mind was hamfisting it into a spectacular Fireball in front of the Crowd.... Luckily he didnt and continued his routine and the crowd was non the wiser of the potential accident.

 

 

It goes to show how easy it is to end up in the bottom of a smoking hole if you take your attention away from flying the jet and its now flying you...

[splode 0]

I always wonder what happens in those accidents where seemingly nothing went wrong - the guy just flew into the ground. Complete mystery what was going on in the cockpit.

 

My dad was a pilot and I remember reading stuff about accidents and almost 100% of them are attributed to "pilot error."

 

Maybe its stuff like that - grabbing for something, etc.

[Charlie 0]

 

Yeah, I can only imagine. What is REALLY strange is what the ground crew finds in the plane. One of those "Now how in the hell did THAT get in there?" kind of things.

[splode 0]

Yeck - like WHAT?

[Seawolf 0]

like pens, gerber tools, gameboys,walkmans. You know the usual.

[snapple2993 0]

I always wonder what happens in those accidents where seemingly nothing went wrong - the guy just flew into the ground.  Complete mystery what was going on in the cockpit.

 

My dad was a pilot and I remember reading stuff about accidents and almost 100% of them are attributed to "pilot error."

 

Maybe its stuff like that - grabbing for something, etc.

Imagine being killed by a pen, or even worse... a cracker. :(

Edited November 2, 2003 by snapple2993

[splode 0]

Yeah - that's what I always thought. Its very sad.