OT A little Joke for you all

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

New Husband Store

 

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

 

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

 

The second floor sign reads:

 

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

 

The third floor sign reads:

 

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are extremely Good Looking.

 

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4

 

- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

 

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 -

 

These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

 

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

 

The first floor has wives that love sex.

 

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

 

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

[Olham 164]

Heavy artillery! But so true!!

It's hard for the "logical gender" to please the "emotional one" ".

Only yesterday, I saw my ex debating with her new husband about the house they just bought.

Before they bought it, he had sat down with her to decide, and said: we must not buy it. So please

decide intensively and deeply - cause when we buy it, I want your full support in all furthermore

work that is to be done here. She said, yes, it's a nice house, let's buy it!

Mow, only three months later - it was the absolutely wrong decision.

Wrong place, wrong village, wrong neighbours, and totally wrong built.

Edited September 22, 2009 by Olham

[carrick58 23]

I have went thru the Logical and emotional side of issues with wives and women. So I am in agreement with the person that said. Well, you cant live with women and you cant live without em.

[zoomzoom 2]

Hehe, good one mate. Here's another form another perspective....yet still quite amusing.

 

 

installing a husband

Dear Tech Support,

 

This year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

 

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as

· Romance 9.5 and

· Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

· NBA 5.0,

· NFL 3.0 and

· Golf Clubs 4.1.

 

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

 

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

 

What can I do?

 

Signed,

 

Desperate.

 

DEAR DESPERATE,

 

First, keep in mind,

· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while

· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

 

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

· If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

 

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

 

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

 

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

 

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend

· Cooking 3.0 and

· Hot Lingerie 7.7.

 

Good Luck Babe!

 

Tech Support

 

 

 

Wow, and the Devs in OFF thought they had bugs to address!!

 

ZZ.

[Rickitycrate 10]

Classic humor guys

[Wels 2]

Hello,

 

by any chance does anyone know whether the McAllan 1.7 application should be installed before, or after the Beer 6.1 update ?

 

Hehe

Catfish

[Macklroy 2]

funny, i never get to the 2nd floor at the wifey store. lol ;)

[Hellshade 110]

New Husband Store

 

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

 

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

 

The second floor sign reads:

 

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

 

The third floor sign reads:

 

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are extremely Good Looking.

 

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4

 

- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

 

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 -

 

These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

 

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 

Oh that is hilarious. Never mind the part about them always wanting more no matter how great you are to them and their kids. Just the idea that a chick would be willing to spend money on a man instead of expecting him to spend it on her. Really now, that's just silly. /sigh - I think I pulled something I laughed so hard. Sorry if that offends anyone, but I have yet to live the counter example.

 

Hellshade

[+Erik 1,805]

Wedding Cake

 

 

[OvS 8]

 

I LOVE IT!!! These jokes rock!! :drinks::drinks:

[Rickitycrate 10]

The funniest jokes are the ones that hit close to home. I got a crater in my back yard about now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gee I hope she don't see this.

[Bullethead 12]

I have went thru the Logical and emotional side of issues with wives and women. So I am in agreement with the person that said. Well, you cant live with women and you cant live without em.

 

Women: can't live with 'em, can't drive an axe through 'em, unless you're OJ .

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

A woman is like a Piano

 

If she isn't Upright...She's Grand