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von Baur

WOT (Way Off Topic)..Feb 9, 1991

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Twenty-two years ago today (also a saturday), the most beautiful, most wonderful woman who ever lived became my wife.

 

post-47353-0-62483000-1360449936_thumb.jpg

 

After a small church wedding and only slightly larger reception at our apartment, we went to one of the bars we frequented, her still in her wedding gown and blue bonnet and me in my black tails and spit-shined cowboy boots and we danced until they closed the place.

 

Please hold the congratulations, though. Because twenty years was all we were allowed. On the 14th I will mark the second anniversary of losing her to a severe stroke, which went untreated for two days because I thought it was just another multiple sclerosis attack.

 

Don't mourn...rejoice for the time we had. And heed this advice. Never...NEVER...miss a chance to show your loved ones how much they mean to you. I promise you that even if you do it every minute of every day, if you lose that person you'll regret not showing it more.

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I won't hold the congratulations, von Baur - you had what you had; none of us knows how and when we will end

(and it is definitely better that way). It is not the length of time, it is rather the quality of a relationship, and here

I believe I detect there was so much quality and even class or style in it... You both look so proud of each other.

You may still feel you should have shown your love even more - but I bet you showed it very often.

Congrats on what you had together and what is was - however short it may be feeling - so many have far less.

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...so many have far less.

 

Do they? Yes, some do, but what I mean is:

 

There's a country song "I'd Be Lookin' for a Woman Like You". In it the singer's wife asks the dreaded question, "What would you be doing if we hadn't met?" I, of course, started wondering the same thing. And I came to the conclusion that I would have been perfectly happy had I never met Nancie. In the same way that a water glass is perfectly full while holding 12 ounces of water. And a gallon pitcher is perfectly full with one gallon of water. Neither of them has any idea what it's like to hold more than the amount for which each was designed.

 

I believe that on February 9th, 1991, I became all the oceans in the world.

 

 

And thanx for the kind words, Olham.

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Von Baur,

 

Having lost my mum on the 21st December 2012. I can relate very much to your post, as I am still every day thinking about mum, and expect to for the rest of my life, and how much I miss her (as does my dad, and her close relatives). Also I wish I had sat her down and committed her memories to paper, as she had such a good memory and being 78 had been evacuated during the war, and had rich stories to tell about that and life in London in the 1950's and 1960's.

 

To Von Baur (and this includes the rest of the forum), I am not trying to hijack your post, and I would be upset if people responded mainly to my post and ignored your initial post, as your pain must be far greater than mine. but your opening post has opened the gates to my pain forum wise.

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Don't mourn...rejoice for the time we had. And heed this advice. Never...NEVER...miss a chance to show your loved ones how much they mean to you. I promise you that even if you do it every minute of every day, if you lose that person you'll regret not showing it more.

 

That is excellent advice von Baur and thank you for sharing! It's so easy to take our loved ones for granted. You were blessed to have had 20 years with a wonderful woman who you were deeply in love with and I'm sure she felt the same about you. February 9th holds a special place for me as well...it is my wife's birthday. We have been together for almost 12 years.

 

I'm so sorry for your recent loss Rugby. There is no easy way to say goodbye to the people you love. And I concur Olham, it's the quality of relationships that count.

Edited by Shiloh

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I believe that on February 9th, 1991, I became all the oceans in the world.

 

My dad passed away in that same year. Not quite the same kind of loss, but still...

I remember the call from my sister like it was yesterday.

And the feeling was beyond description.

Edited by Olham

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Von Baur;

 

For reasons only known to you, you felt compelled to share a very personal aspect of your life and we are all the richer for it! Your post caused me to reflect on my own life and I'm sure it affected others in a positive way as well. I share your grief as I have been there too many times with different members of my family. My thoughts are with you, and thank you very much for your reflection.

 

Best Wishes

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