1SG Dickie Safety Briefing - 02/28/17

[+Erik]

Aight!!!  Fall in you mealy-mouthed maggots...warriors in the front, POGs in the middle, and all you Snowflakes station yourself in the crying room so that we can't hear your lamentations.

 

Chop and SGT P...front and center!!!

 

You two...dammit...you two...you two are lucky that I am in a maudlin mood today.  You fuckers stole my last bottle of good whiskey in order to "celebrate" the 26th anniversary of the ground offensive in the Gulf War.  Gawddamn Rakkasans...think you can just raid the old First Sergeant's private stash.

 

Save me a shot.  I will be remembering with you after formation.  Let's talk about the helicopter ride to Obj Boston...and how we laughed when we saw the 82nd "Airborne" truck it in on deuce-and-a-halfs the next day.

 

The rest of you desperate drippy-dicked drooling degenerates...LISTEN UP!

 

Weekend Safety Brief

 

Don't...do drugs

 

Don't...drink and drive

 

Don't call me unless everyone else on the alert roster is drunk, dead, or out of cell range.

 

Run in fire teams of no less than 4...still a bunch of fucks out there that want what we have.  Two to the chest...one to the head.

 

Now get out of my AO before a couple of drunk Gulf War vets show you younguns how to hand-to-hand...old school style.

 

1SG Dickie...OUT!

 

 

https://www.gruntworks11b.com

[Viggen]

There's two weekend safety briefs that I'll always remember from two of my 1SGs.

 

1. Do the right thing and keep your integrity

 

2. Don't go to the hospital, don't go to jail, don't get dead, don't do stupid sh*t.

[Trotski]

1 Dont give the OC a map

2 let the OC think he is in charge

3 remember I am actually in charge

4 throw any grenades TOWARDS the enemy

5 remember to remove the pin before you do

6 dont get killed, I hate having to do paper work

7 if you slot a bad guy, slot him again just to make sure

8 make sure you have a brew kit, we cant operate with out a brew

9 dont carry all that crap you used to carry on excercise on Salisbury plain, we aint on fuckin' holiday now

10 dogtags to be worn, and a spare in yer boot, that maybe all thats left next to the smoking hole in the ground

11 dont panic, the poor sod downrange from you is just as scared as you are

12 when you return from patrol, dont just flop down and slob out, get yer fuckin' weapons cleaned, you may not get a chance later

13 finally dont make complete cunts of yourselves, we have invested a lot of time and effort into training you fuckers, so dont fuckin' waste it, or else Her Majesty will be well pissed off

[macelena]

So there i was, no shit. My collarbone had popped out of place. Got to the barracks to check up right after surgery. My BDU looks weird because i have a hump on my shoulder wich looks like Igor's from Young Frankenstein and a blue sling to hold the arm in place, providing a vivid contrast with the pixels made in 50 shades of green.

 

Company Sarge, wich saw me getting messed up, sees me when i head towards the office. No "How are you doing?" nor "Hi", but before i can even salute: "Are you fuking coming back from sick leave already or what?"

 

Thank God I'm immune to psychology

[Silberpfeil]

SCPO Safety Briefing on flight physics:

1. Airplanes just naturally want to fly. 

2. Helicopters just naturally want to crash.

[Viggen]

Company Sarge, wich saw me getting messed up, sees me when i head towards the office. No "How are you doing?" nor "Hi", but before i can even salute: "Are you fuking coming back from sick leave already or what?"

 

As we'd say in the US Army: this is why retention is so low.