Songs for the Mess

[Dej 17]

I had a recent PM exchange with Creaghorn on a couple of songs featured in 'Aces High'. I since found a more authentic version of the first which prompted me to collect so more for posting here. There were a series of posts over at The Aerodrome on the same subject some time ago, but I thought I'd invite contributions from you folks, particularly any French or German ones you know of.

 

The following are all songs that are known to have been sung in RFC messes and represent basic or common versions. Each squadron would doubtless have their own variant. Who knows, if we collect enough maybe Mr. Milne could work his magic on them for P4 incidental/atmospheric music

 

A POOR AVIATOR LAY DYING

(First World War Version, trad.)

Tune: The Dying Lancer/Tarpaulin Jacket/My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean/

Midi (Tune Only)

 

The Young Aviator lay dying,

And as in the hangar he lay, he lay,

To the mechanics who round him were standing

These last parting words he did say -

 

(Chorus):

Take the cylinders out of my kidneys,

The connecting rod out of my brain, my brain,

From the small of my back take the crankshaft

And assemble the engine again.

 

Then go ye and get me the school bus

And bury me out on the Plain, the Plain,

And get them to write on my tombstone

Some formulae out of Duchesne.

 

When the court of Enquiry assembles

To find out the reason I died, I died,

Then say I forgot 'twice Iota'

Was the minimum angle of glide.

 

Oh had I the wings of an Avro

Then far into Holland I'd fly, I'd fly,

I'd stop there until the war's over

And laugh at you blighters on high.

 

And now I suppose I'll be joining

The Flying Corps up in the sky, the sky,

Where they all understand 'twice Iota'

And they all have got wings that will fly!

 

Additional verses from other versions...

Pull the longeron out of my backbone,

The turnbuckle out of my ear (my ear).

From the small of my back take the rudder-

There's all of your aeroplane here.

 

I'll be riding a cloud in the morning,

With no rotary before me to cuss (to cuss).

Take the lead from your feet and get busy,

Here's another lad needing the bus!

 

Oh, had I the wings of a little dove,

Far a-way, far a-way would I fly, I fly,

Straight to the arms of my true-love,

And there would I lay me and die.

 

Then get you two little white tombstones,

Put them one at my head and my toe, my toe,

And get you a penknife and scratch there,

“Here lies a poor pilot below.”

 

WE HAVEN’T GOT A HOPE IN THE MORNING

(First World War Version, trad.)

Tune: John Peel

Midi (Tune Only)

 

When you soar into the air on a Sopwith Scout,

And you're scrapping with a Hun and your gun cuts out,

Well, you stuff down your nose till your plugs fall out,

'Cos you haven't got a hope in the morning.

 

(Chorus):

For a batman woke me from my bed;

I'd had a thick night and a very sore head,

And I said to myself, to myself I said,

"Oh, we haven't got a hope in the morning !"

 

So I went to the sheds and examined my gun,

Then, my engine I tried to run;

And the revs that it gave were a thousand and one,

'Cos it hadn't got a hope in the morning.

Chorus...

 

We were escorting Twenty-two,

Hadn't got a notion what to do,

So we shot down a Hun and an F.E. too,

'Cos they hadn't got a hope in the morning.

Chorus...

 

We went to Cambrai, all in vain,

The F.E.'s said, "we must explain;

Our cameras broke--we must do it again;

Oh, we haven't got a hope in the morning!"

Chorus...

 

SO EARLY IN THE MORNING

(First World War Version, trad.)

Tune: So Early in the Morning

Midi (Tune Only)

 

The Orderly bloke was asleep in bed,

He woke up with an awful head,

The telephone began to ring.

More hot air from the 14th Wing!

 

(Chorus):

So early in the morning,

So early in the morning,

So early in the morning,

Before the break of day.

 

The Orderly Officer said, 'Who's that?'

The Wing replied: "There's a Halberstadt

Over Albert, they say,

Go and drive the blighter away.'

Chorus...

 

So six unfortunate sleepy heads,

Known as pilots left their beds.

They hadn't been gone five minutes, I'm sure,

When the 14th Wing rang up once more:

'It isn't a Hun: the patrol must stop,

It's only an old two-seater Sop.'

Chorus...

 

Then the mists began to rise

Until they filled the wintry skies.

The patrol it should have been back by nine;

At 11 o'clock there was no sign.

Chorus...

 

Then old John Russell began to swear,

'Chaps,' he said, "Oh dear, oh dear!

What has happened, I'd like to know,'

When a message came through from our C.O.

Chorus...

 

'Archie's down by Albert way,

Tommy's crashed in a field they say,

As for the others, you can guess their plight,

It looks as though you've lost your Flight.'

Chorus...

 

And now my story's nearly done,

And as you see, there was no Hun.

The moral of it's perfectly clear,

We must have very much less Hot Air.

Chorus...

 

Please join in...

Edited November 22, 2010 by Dej

[Dej 17]

Ooops... forgot this one:

 

THE ONLY ONLY WAY

(First World War Version, trad.)

Tune: The Only, Only Way from Tonight's the Night

Link to 'Aces High' clip (Chorus Only)

 

If by some delightful chance,

When you're flying out in France,

Some old Boche machine you meet,

Very slow and obsolete,

Don't turn round to watch your tail

Tricks like that are getting stale;

Just put down your bally nose,

And murmur 'Chaps, here goes!'

 

(Chorus:)

It's the only, only, way,

It's the only trick to play;

He's the only Hun, you're the only Pup

And he's only getting the wind right up;

So keep on and do not stop

'Til his tail's damn near your prop,

If he only crashes this side in flames

Then you'll only know they'll believe your claims

So keep him right

In the Aldis sight

It's the only, only waaaaaaaaaaay!

Edited November 22, 2010 by Dej

[RAF_Louvert 101]

Oh, good idea Dej! Here's one:

 

 

Stand To Your Glasses Steady (was sung in the 1938 release of "Dawn Patrol")

 

Stand to your glasses steady

This world is a world full of lies

A toast to the dead already

Hurrah for the next man to die

 

We stand 'neath resounding rafters

The walls around us are bare

They echo back our laughter

It seems that the dead are still here

 

Stand to your glasses steady

This world is a world full of lies

A toast to the dead already

Hurrah for the next man to die

 

In flaming Spad and Camel

With wings of wood and steel

For mortal stakes we gamble

With cards that are stacked for the deal

 

Stand to your glasses steady

This world is a world full of lies

A toast to the dead already

Hurrah for the next man to die

 

Denied by the land that bore us

Betrayed by the ones we hold dear

The good have all gone before us

And only the dull are still here

 

Stand to your glasses steady

This world is a world full of lies

A toast to the dead already

Hurrah for the next man to die

 

We loop in the purple twilight

We spin in the silvery dawn

With a trail of smoke behind us

To show where our comrades have gone

 

Stand to your glasses steady

This world is a world full of lies

A toast to the dead already

Hurrah for the next man to die

 

Hurrah for the next man to die!

 

 

And here is the clip from the movie:

 

Stand To Your Glasses Steady

 

 

Lou

 

.

[carrick58 23]

The Songs are so different from my Time in the Service. We used to sing: " We gotta get out of this place " by the Animals and "The Mickey Mouse Club" song by ?

[Wayfarer 5]

Not a 'flying' song, but the the one that led to anti-aircraft fire being dubbed 'Archie' by the RFC.

I believe it was considered quite risqué in it's day.

 

It's no use me denying facts I'm henpecked, you can see!

'Twas on our wedding day my wife commenced to peck at me

The wedding breakfast over, I said, "We'll start off today

Upon our honeymoon."

Then she yelled, "What! waste time that way?"

 

"Archibald, certainly not!

Get back to work at once, sir, like a shot.

When single you could waste time spooning

But lose work now for honeymooning!

"Archibald, certainly not!

 

I once strolled through a field, and there a mad bull came across.

It gamboll'd with me playfully and quickly won the toss!

Of course I sued the owner, and the day the case was fought,

The judge exclaimed when I said, "Sir, let's have the bull in court!"

 

"Archibald, certainly not!

Just show what other evidence you've got!"

But he cried when I said, " Please forgo it...

Because I must stand up to show it.

"Archibald-certainly not"

 

A sportsman I have always been I've hunted with the hounds.

I've hunted, too, without them, and It's cost me many pounds.

I can't afford to hunt now that I'm married, but one day,

The wife remarked, when I asked her If cricket I could play,

 

"Archibald, certainly not!

About this cricket game I've read a lot.

Besides, last time you played at Dover,

I heard you bowled a maiden over!

Archibald-certainly not!"

 

A lady named Miss Hewitt got on friendly terms with me.

She fell in love with me at once and then fell in the

sea!My wife came on the scene as I threw coat and vest aside ;

As other garments I slipped off to save the girl, she cried,

"Archibald, certainly not !

 

Desist at once disrobing on the spot !

You may show your pluck and save Miss Hewitt,

But if you've got to strip to do it

Archibald-certainly not!"

 

At supper time last Sunday I was hungry as could be.

A chicken on the table smelt most savoury to me!

I longed for just a taster as I munched my jam and bread.

At last I said, " Can I have just the beak?" then my wife said,

 

"Archibald, certainly not!

You know that fowl for you was never got.

Eat chicken when to bed you're going!

Why, all night long I'd have you crowing!

Archibald, certainly not!"

 

If you paste the following into your browser, you can hear the music hall artiste George Robey performing the song.

 

http://www.we7.com/#/song/George-Robey/Archibald-Certainly-Not

[MikeDixonUK 5]

Not a WW1 or Flying song, but I like to think the chaps in the RNAS would sing Heart of Oak every now and again - being good Naval chaps and all that.

 

Come, cheer up, my lads, 'tis to glory we steer,

To add something more to this wonderful year;

To honour we call you, as freemen not slaves,

For who are so free as the sons of the waves?

 

Heart of oak are our ships, heart of oak are our men,

we always are ready; Steady, boys, steady!

We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.

 

After that it all gets a bit anti-French, and seeing as we're all friends in this one they'd probably miss that part out.

 

Of course when I say they sing it I probably mean I start singing it and force them to join in...

 

I'll have to learn this 'We haven't got a hope in the morning' if it's based on John Peel - Being of the Cumbrian persuasion.

Edited November 22, 2010 by MikeDixonUK

[Bullethead 12]

Here's one the RNAS lads might have sung, although it was probably too old and stodgy for the youngsters of WW1. Their daddies certainly sang it, though:

 

 

Gosport Nancy

 

Gosport Nancy she's my fancy

She's the girl to make good sport

How she greets you when she meets you

When your ship gets into port!

All the Gosport ladies they loves a sailor man

But at findin' a way to spend your pay

There's none like Gosport Nan!

 

Now Gosport girls are good at dancin'

There the best there is no doubt

When the music sets 'em prancin'

How they fling their skirts about!

All the Gosport ladies can do the French can-can

But for real high kicks and fancy tricks

There's none like Gosport Nan!

 

Now Gosport girls they love to garble

Gosport girls they likes their tot

Rum and brandy, gin and shandy

Gosport girls al go the lot

All the Gosport ladies they swigs the flowin' can

But at knockin' it back with Honest Jack

There's none like Gosport Nan!

 

Gosport Nancy keeps a parlor

Where the lads can take their ease

She'll wake you, she'll shake you

She will do whate'er you please

All the Gosport ladies, they does the best they can

But at makin' a bed for a sailor's head

There's none like Gosport Nan!

[Winston DoRight 3]

A different era, but war is timeless as far as the young men who fought in them were concerned.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyetqMqClMc

 

When I was a bachelor, I liv'd all alone

I worked at the weaver's trade

And the only, only thing that I ever did wrong

Was to woo a fair young maid.

I wooed her in the wintertime

And in the summer, too

And the only, only thing that I did that was wrong

Was to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew.

 

One night she came to my bedside

When I was fast asleep.

She laid her head upon my bed

And she began to weep.

She sighed, she cried, she damn near died

She said what shall I do?

So I hauled her into bed and covered up her head

Just to keep her from the foggy foggy dew.

 

So, I am a bachelor, I live with my son

and we work at the weaver's trade.

And every single time that I look into his eyes

He reminds me of that fair young maid.

He reminds me of the wintertime

And of the summer, too,

And of the many, many times that I held her in my arms

Just to keep her from the foggy, foggy, dew.

[Bullethead 12]

A different era, but war is timeless as far as the young men who fought in them were concerned.

 

Here are some of the more printable versions of the WW1 classic "Mademoiselle from Armentiers".

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=859

 

And here are some of the less printable versions, which are rather more to my thinking what soldiers really sang :D

http://www.musicanet.org/robokopp/english/armentir.htm

 

For some snatches of IMHO real WW1 marching songs, check out Somme, by Lyn McDonald. This has such all-time classics as:

 

John Brown's baby has a pimple on his bum

An' the little bastard can't sit down

(and so on)

 

And

 

Do your balls hang low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie 'em in a knot?

Can you tie 'em in a bow?

Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder

Like a stupid f***ing soldier?

Do your balls hang low?

(this goes on for many verses wth an amusing anecdote thrown in)

 

It also, of course, has quite a few bits of gung-ho crap from the then-new recruits to Kitchener's Army, before they saw the elephant on 1 July. These are rather poignant in retrospect., along the lines of such things as

 

He was just a way-out country gink

From afar out West where the horntoads blink

He was just as brave as he was thin

When the war broke out he jumped right in

Sayin' "Good-bye Ma, good-bye Pa

"Good-bye mule with your ol' hee-haw

"I really don' know what this war's about

But gosh-a-mickle I'll soon find out"

 

But if other wars are on the table (and keeping with an aeronautical theme), we can't forget such things as:

 

Oh the starting of the Beaufort is a most peculiar art

No matter how you prime the bitch the best she'll do is fart

And sometimes in the morning when the dew is on the grass

You're tempted to insert the choke up Pratt & Whitney's ass

 

(Chorus)

See, oh see, oh everybody come

Come and see the Beaufort boys a-sittin' on their bums

Tryin' to start their engines amidst the mighty roar

Of the LIberators that were started long before

[Beanie 4]

'When this rotten war is over' is my favourite - it was my tank troop smoker (drinking beers around a large fire) song!

Edited November 23, 2010 by Beanie

[Dej 17]

'When this rotten war is over' is my favourite - it was my tank troop smoker (drinking beers around a large fire) song!

 

That song was certainly sung in the mess of No. 46 Sqn.

 

Here's a version (there are many, of course, with differing degrees of profanity )

 

WHEN THIS ROTTEN WAR IS OVER

Tune: What a Friend we have in Jesus

 

When this rotten war is over

No more soldiering for me.

When I get my civvy clothes on,

Oh how happy I shall be.

No more church parades on Sunday,

No more begging for a pass;

You can tell the sergeant-major

To stick his passes up his arse.

 

When this rotten war is over

No more soldiering for me.

When I get my civvy clothes on,

Oh how happy I shall be.

No more NCOs to curse me,

No more rotten army stew;

You can tell the old cook-sergeant

To stick his stew right up his flue.

 

When this rotten war is over

No more soldiering for me.

When I get my civvy clothes on,

Oh how happy I shall be.

No more sergeant-majors bawling

'Pick it up' and 'Put it down';

If I meet the ugly bastard

I'll kick his arse all over town.

[Bullethead 12]

Here's one we used to sing on route marches when we were out of earshot of the brass. In its original form, it was called "The Pioneers Have Hairy Ears", "pioneers" in this case being the old title of military engineers, not settlers of the wild west. Thus, it soon became "The Engineers...." My forefathers in the artillery liked it so much they changed it to "The Cannoneers....", which is admittedly a bit lame but it was the best they could come up with :).

 

There are a few other verses, and variations on those shown at the link below, but all of them are at least as nasty as these, so I shant type them up here

 

 

 

http://www.csufresno.edu/folklore/drinkingsongs/mp3s/1940s/1940s-anonymous-(78)/plain-white-label-black-text/the-pioneers.htm

 

 

[Dej 17]

Referring back to 'The Only, Only Way', it's probably my favourite and I'd love to hear it in OFF 'cept I'd never known how the first verse was supposed to sound.

 

But, I managed to track down a midi (yes, I hate them too) of the song on which it is based, "If by some delightful chance at a dinner or a dance some delicious girl you meet..." (Tonight's the Night - 1914) and here it is.

 

So, now, if anyone's a bit musical, and can play it proper like, we can have a jolly old sing-song.

[Beanie 4]

Another favorite of mine

 

I don't want to join the army,

I don't want to go to war.

I'd rather hang around dear old London town,

Living off the earnings of a lady typist.

I don't want a bayonet in my belly,

I don't want my bollocks shot away.

I'd rather stay in England, in merry, merry England,

And fornicate this bleedin' life away.

 

A good book on the subject is:

 

The Daily Telegraph Dictionary of Tommies' Songs and Slangs, 1914-18 by John Brophy & Eric Partridge

[MikeDixonUK 5]

I was browsing YouTube again and found a variation of 'A poor Aviator lay dying'

 

[Creaghorn 10]

Referring back to 'The Only, Only Way', it's probably my favourite and I'd love to hear it in OFF 'cept I'd never known how the first verse was supposed to sound.

 

this song is inside the homebrew in the download section. so if you die, or get ambulanced, this song appears.

 

cheers