Fubar512 1,350 Posted June 19, 2009 Actually Posted to Craig's List Personals... To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in downtown Savannah the night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 AM EST I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van GoGo's, along with all of the cash in your wallet. I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number). I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.. Alex Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MigBuster 2,861 Posted June 19, 2009 lol - guess he picked the wrong guy to mug - don't mess with Alex!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meathead 1 Posted June 20, 2009 I think Alex should have put a little more thought into his revenge, having to personally deal with robbery suspects on a regular basis, odds are that that wallet, credit card and cell phone all belonged to people this guy had robbed before bumping into our hero. He may have caused more harm than good. For any other heroes out there, just call the cops. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meathead 1 Posted June 20, 2009 But on the other hand, still funny though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eraser_tr 29 Posted June 20, 2009 Not to mention he is commiting a series of crimes equivalent to his being mugged. Rather reminds me of Gran Torino "Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f***ed with? That's me." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cgold 0 Posted June 20, 2009 Uber self pwn-age!!! 1911's for the win! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+ST0RM 145 Posted June 20, 2009 That had to be one of the best ads I've seen. Even if it's a hoax, it is still great! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
serverandenforcer 33 Posted June 20, 2009 I think Alex should have put a little more thought into his revenge, having to personally deal with robbery suspects on a regular basis, odds are that that wallet, credit card and cell phone all belonged to people this guy had robbed before bumping into our hero. He may have caused more harm than good. For any other heroes out there, just call the cops. Well, if the perp had a license or an id inside the wallet (which should have a picture of the id holder that hopefully looks a lot like the perp) and the names on credit cards matched the name on the ID, then you don't have a problem there (I would've just shot the guy though - lawfull self defense... the guy is within my reactionary gap and I'm in fear of my life). Never bring a knife to a gun fight. However, I wouldn't have contacted the DA or FBI. They do have voice analyzers... oh and incase you're wondering, if you ever talked on a cell phone that you own, big brother has your voice print. Found that out in an incident that I was involved inwhich a threat was made via phone (from a pay phone) but somehow OSI and FBI managed to catch the guy at his house. Oh, and all calls made to government offices/facilities are recorded. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
