OT....Important Questions

[almccoyjr]

What questions do you ponder?

 

My first question is related to the discussion on the climate:

 

If all the sponges in the ocean were to die, would the level of the world's oceans rise dramatically?

 

The other revolves around escalating prices:

 

How can a funeral home/mortuary raise their prices and cite the cost of living as the reason?

 

plug_nickel (Al)

[Bullethead]

"The time has come", the Walrus said, "to talk of many things.

"Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings,

"And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings."

 

I recommend listening to Dr. John's song "Why Come?" (a Lousy Anna expression used instead of "How come?") . He asks many such questions. But he didn't touch some of the weightier issues, such as:

 

 

If a man says something and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

 

Why is that when I'm unhappy and she's happy, I'm happier than when I'm happy and she's unhappy?

 

Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?

 

Why does it hurt when I pee?

 

 

[almccoyjr]

Another one that has kept me up at night:

 

How do you know when a word is misspelled in the dictionary?

 

plug_nickel (Al)

[Kingkat]

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

 

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

 

 

[carrick58]

Which one came 1st The chicken or the egg?

Why do women do the things they do?

Does Available soon = The same as 2 weeks?

[almccoyjr]

And just how did "Reading, writing and 'rithmatic" become known as the 3 R's?

 

My head is starting to hurt.

 

plug_nickel (Al)

[carrick58]

Which one came 1st The chicken or the egg?

Why do women do the things they do?

Does Available soon = The same as 2 weeks?

 

 

 

Why do psychics always tell My wife that they knew she would call?

[JimAttrill]

What do women want? (attributed to Freud and every man who ever lived)

[UK_Widowmaker]

I ask questions such as..

 

"Why does the fourth wheel on a supermarket trolley, look identical to the other three...yet render the trolley totally uncontrollable?"

 

"Why has everyone got a photobooth picture of themselves sticking their tongues out?"

 

This sort of thing keeps me awake at night!

[Morris]

My conclusion is that;

 

All these important questions are being raised because we are waiting for the “HAT”.

 

M

 

 

 

[Creaghorn]

hmm. good questions,

 

why are noses running and feet smelling?

 

if our knees would be backwards, how would the chairs look like?

 

why don't they build aircrafts from the same material as the blackbox?

 

if today it's 0 degrees and tomorrow it's twice as cold. how cold is it?

 

bread with butter always fells on the butterside. cats always land on their toes. what would happen if you strap a butterbread on the back of the cat?

 

if you would travel in a spaceship with lightspeed, what would happen if you turn on the lights?

 

got to stop now. my head hursts...

[+Olham]

Hey, you guys must have far too much time left to waste.

When you consider, that a male human being spends about 4 days of his life-

including the nights - on shaving the beard from his face (not to mention other

time consuming nonsense as lawn mowing) - I aks you:

 

ain't you got nothing better to do but wasting your time?

 

The bell! I must hurry back into my cockpit ! ...

[almccoyjr]

hmm. good questions,

 

if you would travel in a spaceship with lightspeed, what would happen if you turn on the lights?

 

got to stop now. my head hursts...

We know what the speed of light is; then what is the speed of dark?

 

OOHH...my head just...BOOM

[+RAF_Louvert]

.

 

Carrick58 asked:

Which one came first, the chicken or the egg?

 

That one has an answer Sir. The rooster.

 

.

[Rickitycrate]

Mama's Ribs and Rotisserie on the island of Maui runs a radio commercial saying "come to Mama's where only the rooster gets a better piece of chicken" This said by a saucey sounding gal. You just know I had to eat there.

Edited December 9, 2009 by Rickitycrate

[Check Six]

I am constantly looking above my head for the "KILL THIS GUY!!!" sign placed there by "God" or "intelligent creator" or whatever your beliefs are.

 

I ride a motorcycle and am constantly staggered at the profound stupidity of fellow motorists (though some don't realise they are in fact motorists...they are in some kind of dream-like trance, and don't even realise they are driving, let alone driving responsibly, to the regulations of the state, or to simply bloody LOOK WHERE THEY ARE GOING!).

 

I take my life into my own hands every friggin day. And when they have scared ten shades of s**te outta me, nearly bowled me off my motorcycle, oblivious to their surroundings, they think that all is made good by a friendly little "I didn't see you" wave.

 

Is my motorcycle a stealth job? Camouflaged perhaps?

 

 

GRR.

[almccoyjr]

hmm. good questions,

 

why are noses running and feet smelling?

 

if our knees would be backwards, how would the chairs look like?

Along those lines I sometimes wonder, when I stand up, where does my lap go?

 

One of the better ones I've read is, "Why do they say the alarm is going off when obviously it's on and working."

 

And for the musicians:

 

When Jimmy cracks corn and I don't care, why would anyone write a song about it?

 

plug_nickel (Al)

[+Dej]

For the Brits to ponder: Why is there only one Competition Commission?

[Rooster89]

why don't they build aircrafts from the same material as the blackbox?

 

 

Or...instead of having the seats turn into floatation devices, why doesnt the plane just turn into a boat?

 

-Rooster

[Bullethead]

Or...instead of having the seats turn into floatation devices, why doesnt the plane just turn into a boat?

 

They used to, you know, back in the days of the Boeing Clippers....

 

When I worked in an airplane chopshop and we had a contract to repaint C-5s, I always wondered why they always put "delivery" as the last step on the schedule. After all, the very 1st thing we did was strip off the old livery.

[Flyby PC]

If you've a 50 / 50 chance, why do you get it wrong 100% of the time?

 

Who's the bright spark that invented fire?

 

How do you confuse a navvy? Point to four shovels and tell him to take his pick.

 

Wait til after Christmas. With all the 'jokes' inside crackers, there'll be a million of these. Oh joy.

[JimAttrill]

 

bread with butter always fells on the butterside. cats always land on their toes. what would happen if you strap a butterbread on the back of the cat?

 

 

If the bread is toasted, you have a primitive anti-gravity device called a 'CatToast'. If you strap enough of them to your car (preferably so they can rotate) you instantly solve the Carbon emissions and Global Warming problems. The animal rights activists won't like it though.