+Erik 1,805 Posted May 27, 2017 Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of GravityAny tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random NumbersIf you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. Law of Close EncountersThe probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the ResultWhen you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!Law of BiomechanicsThe severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.The Coffee LawAs soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold Murphy's Law of LockersIf there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical SurfacesThe chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.Law of Logical ArgumentAnything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about. Law of Physical AppearanceIf the clothes fit, they're ugly.Law of Public Speaking-- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET! Law of Commercial Marketing StrategyAs soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it! Doctors' LawIf you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick. 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charlielima 328 Posted May 27, 2017 Affirmative. CL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyviper 1,101 Posted May 27, 2017 Stand Aside Sir Isaac Newton and make way for Sir Erik Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
33LIMA 972 Posted May 27, 2017 This is my favourite - the 'List of Un-natural Laws', starting with the classic: Muprhy's Law If something can go wrong, sooner or later it will. O'Tools Commentary on Murphy's lawMurphy was an optimist. The Unspeakable LawAs soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens. The Non-reciprocal Laws of ExpectationsNegative expectations yield negative results.Positive expectations yield negative results. Howe's LawEvery man has a scheme that will not work. Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems DynamicsOnce you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can. Etorre's ObservationThe other line/queue moves faster. Skinner's Constant (aka Finnegan's Finagling Factor)That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you got, gives you the answer you should have got. Maier's LawIf the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. Hoare's Law of Large ProblemsInside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. Boren's First Law When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate.When in doubt, mumble. The Golden Rule of Arts and ScienceWhoever has the gold, makes the rules. The Law of Selective GravityThe chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. Barth's DistinctionThere are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. Segal's LawA man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project SchedulesThe first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time. The last 10% takes the other 90%. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Silberpfeil 363 Posted May 27, 2017 A couple more: Gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law - and it's not subject to appeal. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites