Ok....So I'm a miserable, old grumpy fart...I freely admit it!.....I'm now in my 50th Year....and am about to 'experience' my 50th Christmas.
Have I had any mind-numbingly fantastic, memorable, superb, Life Changing Christmas days in those 49 past ones?.....Not a bit of it.
Yes, of course it's nice to see the youngsters all excited, I'll grant you that..... But why do they have to get so excited at 3:30am?.....when you only just managed to crawl into bed 2 hours earlier, from wrapping up their new 'Super Toy, Gadget?.......which will no doubt be broken before lunchtime?
So...the day starts, usually dull, drizzly, cold (white Christmas?....yeah...only in the Bing Crosby song).... and you're completely exhausted by 10:00am.....But wait!......Surely, I am excited about going to the In Laws at Lunchtime?.....well....No!
My Mother in Law (who unlike the traditional ones) was actually...a very nice woman, who sadly passed away about five years ago....I used to look forward to seeing.
Now she's gone...I have the Joy of four hours, with my Father in Law.....who lacks any sort of personality whatsoever!....Quite simply put...he is the singularly most benign, racist, Victorian, humourless old bastard I have ever met!....And for him to be joined, by my duplicit Brother in Law, cooking a Microwaved Christmas dinner...brings no feeling of Goodwill to all men whatsoever!.... I actually look forward to the Queens Speech....to liven the place up a bit!!!!
Christmas last yeah was a fun affair.... The Lighbulb popped in the front room standard lamp...how we laughed!..... I laughed like an escapee from a mental instituition for three hours!!..I actually thought I was going to lose my mind, with all the Hilarity!!!
But hey...I'm sorry Jesus....I know it's your Birthday and stuff (well, actually...probably not, as it's a Pagan festival anyhow...and we all know what you thought of Tree Huggers dont we?)...So look....have a great day up there...wherever 'Up there' is....and spare a thought for us mere mortals, with smiles painted like a knife-carved visage down here.
It'll soon be Summertime again!....Just gotta keep that dream alive.