Do you have 3500 dollars for 3dsmax and a year to learn how to use it? That's typically what it takes. You can try in gmax, which is free, but it's missing so many useful tools of 3ds, and I still cannot get a model into max properly from gmax, despite all the right tools and procedures.
IMHO, I can accept the limitations of the sim and manual thrust vectoring and stealth(didn't we have an RCS parameter to make stealth aircraft for inis?) I talked to USAFBLT a while ago about finishing some of his stealth projects off for FA'07 that are absolute musts. I was hesitant to take over work on a source file from someone who wasn't around to directly give permission