I agree that it's not perfect but it is getting better.The add-on planes have their amour points set by their makers so different people will see planes taking more or less damage,depending on the author.
the wingmen and the enemy AI are starting to get better,atleast from the aggression point of view.I actually had one of my wingmen put some holes in me when I was on the tail of a DVII.
To be honest I don't think we'll ever see a dead pilot,if he's dead he just disappears.I would love to see my opponent slumped over,but I have realized that an empty cockpit means I got him,and the landing planes are better than before,although it still does happen.