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Posted

Sandurz (Fubar512): Yes sir! Prepare this forum for light speed!

Dark Helmet (USAFMTL): No no no, light speed is too slow!

Sandurz (Fubar512): Light speed too slow?

Dark Helmet (USAFMTL): Yes, we'll have to go right to... ludicrous speed!

[The entire forum gasps.]

Sandurz (Fubar512): Ludicrous speed?! Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this forum can take it!

Dark Helmet (USAFMTL): What's the matter Colonel Sandurz... chicken?

Sandurz (Fubar512): [stuttering] Prepare ship...prepare forum for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo, throw Stiglr out the airlock, shut down SimHQ.

Dark Helmet (USAFMTL): Give me that, you petty excuse for an officer! NOW HEAR THIS: LUDICROUS SPEED!

Sandurz (Fubar512): Sir, hadn't you better buckle up?

Dark Helmet (USAFMTL): Aw, buckle this! LUDICROUS SPEED, GO!!!

Posted

Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?

Major Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.

Dark Helmet: Who is he?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.

Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?

Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!

Dark Helmet: And his cousin?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!

Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?

[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]

Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!

Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!

[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]

Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!

 

RADAR TECH.: Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to be... jammed.

HELMET: Jammed? Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry. Lone Starr!

 

yup, got the DVD :biggrin:

Posted

Very coincidental how I watched this last night for the first time in over 10 years! It's still a classic!

 

I think Combat Ace needs to go with some more MERCHANDISING!!!

Posted

"I can't make out a thing on this."

"Yes, sir. That's because it's the coffee machine. This is the radar."

"I know that. I always have coffee while I'm watching radar."

 

"I told you to knock before coming in here!"

"Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!"

"Did you see anything?"

"No, sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!"

"Good!"

 

My favorite scene:

"Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello my ragtime gal! Honey you look so fine, baby my heart's on fire..."

Posted

Dark Helmet: " I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."

Lone Star: "What's that make us?"

Dark Helmet: "Absolutely nothing, which is what you are about to become"

Posted

Lone Starr: A million? That's unfair.

Pizza the Hutt: Unfair to payor but not to payee. But you're gonna pay it, or else!

Barf: Or else what?

Pizza the Hutt: Tell him, Vinnie.

Vinnie: Or else pizza is gonna send out for *you*!

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