Rules of the Air

[+Typhoid]

Time for a Humor Check

 

RULES OF THE AIR

 

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

 

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

 

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

 

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

 

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

 

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops,

you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

 

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

 

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they

can use the plane again.

 

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

 

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

 

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

 

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

 

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane

going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide

out in clouds.

 

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

 

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

 

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag

of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

 

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

 

17a. Helicopters don't fly, they beat the air into submission.

 

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear

is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

 

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the

ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

 

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

 

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

 

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

 

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

 

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a

tenth of a second ago.

[Nesher]

great rules :) LOL

[Wolf65]

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

 

Excellent rules :)

[Jug]

I always heard #24 as: "The three most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you, runway behind you and airspeed you used to have."

 

Flight planning emulates measuring with a caliper, marking with a crayon, and cutting with an axe.

 

It is amazing how often that TLAR works (That Looks About Right).

 

Sierra Hotel as opposed to Whiskey Delta.

[DWCAce]

All are so true.

[Piloto]

No Rules. Great Scotch.

[+Brainless]

Quote 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

 

O.K. I know the answer to this one.

 

Soft tyre pressure with soft suspension and on the tarmac. That's right isn't guys?

Edited November 9, 2007 by Brainless

[+Typhoid]

Quote 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

 

O.K. I know the answer to this one.

 

Soft tyre pressure with soft suspension and on the tarmac. That's right isn't guys?

 

 

I wouldn't know - I'm a Navy guy!

 

[firehawkordy]

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

 

Not true, Helo's are sexy machines that hate to touch the Earth. All Rotorheads know that flying with the doors open on a low level is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

[+Fates]

Once an aircraft reaches a certain age, A good rope and a foundation block will make a better autopilot then the piece of crap that is currently installed in the aircraft.

 

(sorry if I've brought my work problems to the forum....heheh)

[SayethWhaaaa]

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

 

What if you're flying an A-6? The pointy end points backwards!