Welcome to the War Yanks!

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

April 6th 1917

 

Better late than never eh?

[Jaman 5]

I guess it bottered them so much being late for the two great wars that from that on they were always the first or among the first to join a party.

[Olham 164]

"Vott?? Now vee muszt even fight der Americans???!!

Were France, Russia, Great Britain, Canada ant Australia still nott enough?

Vell - vee have a sayink: Viel Feind, viel Ehr'!"*

 

(*numerous enemies - plenty of honour)

Edited April 6, 2011 by Olham

[RAF_Louvert 101]

.

 

We were just being fashionably late at the first two parties, (and thanks for inviting us BTW). As to the others since? Well, we had to be first, seeing as how we were throwing those shindigs.

 

.

[Morris 2]

and the Japs Olham,

 

m

[Olham 164]

The Japs? Germany fought the Japs in WW1 ?

[RAF_Louvert 101]

.

 

Now we've talked about this before on several ocassions. Perhaps we should review.

 

 

If WWI were a Bar Fight:

 

Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the bar, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria's pint.

 

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

 

Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view

 

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

 

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria's trousers.

 

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

 

Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.

 

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

 

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

 

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

 

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

 

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

 

Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.

 

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

 

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

 

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

 

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

 

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

 

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

 

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

 

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

 

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

 

 

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[Olham 164]

In reality, you'd wish it had only been such a bar fight, surely.

 

On the other hand, we wouldn't have "Over Flanders Fields" today.

Not meant to be cynical - this way, we can try to honour, what those pilots then had gone through.

And I like the picture, that they may be sitting on their clouds, watching us.

And they'd push their elbows in each other's ribs and giggle:

"Look at that guy - he is doing quite well. But I really wonder, how he would perform,

if he had to wear thick clothes and gloves, and sit in an open cockpit at 18.000 feet, in February!

Hey, St.Peter, Sir - can I have one more sugar in my tea, please?"

[RAF_Louvert 101]

.

 

In reality, you'd wish it had only been such a bar fight, surely.

 

Absolutely Olham, in a heartbeat I would wish that. All those millions of young men, now forever young and nothing more than a faded photograph at best, if not forgotten completely. So very, very sad.

 

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[JFM 18]

I guess it bottered them so much being late for the two great wars that from that on they were always the first or among the first to join a party.

 

Maybe when they invent a time machine we can go back and have Japan attack Pearl Harbor earlier and have Hitler declare war on us earlier so we won't be "late" anymore, at least to the second one.

[Jaman 5]

Maybe when they invent a time machine we can go back and have Japan attack Pearl Harbor earlier and have Hitler declare war on us earlier so we won't be "late" anymore, at least to the second one.

Next time give Raeder more arguments so he can convince Adolf to declare war. Like sinking a few u-boats or something.

[RAF_Louvert 101]

.

 

hee, hee...some of this reminds me of my USAF time in England in the mid-1970's. When we were feeling particularly full of piss-n-vinegar, a group of five or six of us would go to an off-limits pub in Stevenage, (off-limits becuase it had a reputation of being quite anti-American), and park ourselves at a table and start drinking. It never took long before one of the regulars would start cast dispersions our way, and after we'd screwed ourselves up with the proper amount of liquid courage one of us would eventually come back with something like, "Yeah, well if it weren't for us 'Bloody Yanks' you'd all be speaking German now." We never once won any of those rows, but we certainly gave it the old college try. Did our bit to improve the image of the 'Ugly American' back then as well. I've mellowed considerably with age, (I can also still feel the spot on my back where that 220-pound footballer landed on me nearly forty years ago). Good times...good times.

 

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[JFM 18]

Nah, we didn't save Britain from speaking German. The English Channel did.

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

Well...I still love the Yanks anyhow!

[RAF_Louvert 101]

.

 

Nah, we didn't save Britain from speaking German. The English Channel did.

 

That's true Jim, but hardly the point back in the day. We had to find something to needle with, and that worked well as any to get the Limeys riled up.

 

And we love you too WM.

 

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[Olham 164]

Maybe when they invent a time machine we can go back and have Japan attack Pearl Harbor earlier and have Hitler declare war on us earlier so we won't be "late" anymore, at least to the second one.

JFM, if there was a time machine, I believe there would be some good men with the courage and determination

to get a good gun or bomb, and kill the Brownie once and for all - to save millions of lifes.

[JFM 18]

I gotcha, Lou. I was just saying.

 

And, yes, to the Brits and to the Germans. Love 'em both.

[+daddyairplanes 9,895]

you know in regards to anti american Europeans, i noticed during my 3 year stint in Germany that the older generations tended to appreciate and get along with us Yanks while the younger generation for whom WWII and the Cold War were lessons in a history book tended to dislike and pick the fights with us. not just Germans, but french English and most other nationalities. as for our timing yea we mightve been late to the first two big shindigs, thats why we stick around to be first in line for the next big bar fight!

 

 

btw due to previous experiences with the french military, no i didnt forget to capitalize them

Edited April 6, 2011 by daddyairplanes

[carrick58 23]

Cant we all just get along

[RAF_Louvert 101]

.

 

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

I'd like to buy the world a beer, and keep it comp-a-NEEEEEE!

.

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

Cant we all just get along

 

Apparently Not...we've been trying for 200,000 years...no luck yet

 

(what we need, is an Alien War Fleet to invade Earth...then we could all be friends fighting a common enemy)

Edited April 6, 2011 by UK_Widowmaker

[Slartibartfast 153]

Okay who mentioned the War ???

 

 

Perfect time for a Monty Python Moment...

[Davy TASB 0]

Whilst we are having a li'l go at each other, heres a bit of classic Steptoe & Son where Albert is telling these Johnny Foreigner types a few home truths.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViDk_ll04Eo&feature=related

[Olham 164]

Damn, that aches! Spot on though, and really funny!

Maybe the best way, to let it all out like that?

Monty Python - they can't do a thing wrong; you must love them!

They taught us Germans the first important lessons of humour.

[Hasse Wind 46]

Fawlty Towers is one of the best comedy series ever made. I have all the episodes on DVD.

 

Speaking of America's entry into the Great War, it changed everything, though not at once. The Entente powers knew that they now had the advantage in a long war, and the Central powers realized that they had to win the war as quickly as possible before the American economic and industrial might would make the Entente powers too strong. Without American help, the Entente would have been in serious trouble after Russia collapsed.