Classic Cartoon One-Liners

[+Fates 63]

Foghorn Leghorn: Lookit here son, I say son, did ya see that hawk after those hens? He scared 'em! That Rhode Island Red turned white. Then blue. Rhode Island. Red, white, and blue. That's a joke, son. A flag waver. You're built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em. Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. I almost had a gag, son. Joke, that is.

[+Dave 2,322]

Foghorn Leghorn: That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart.

[DWCAce 19]

Foghorn Leghorn "This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!"

[FastCargo 412]

Two cats that look a LOT like Abbott and Costello. WWII days.

 

Abbott-cat (bottom of the ladder) - "Get the bird, stupid!"

 

Costello-cat (up on a ladder trying to get Tweety) - "Woahhhh!"

 

Abbott-cat - "Give me the bird! Give me the bird!"

 

Costello-cat - "If the Hayes office would let me, I'd give him the bird allright!" (whistles)

 

 

That just cracks me up!

 

FastCargo

[+Dave 2,322]

Daffy Duck - Actually, its a buck and a quarter quarterstaff, but I'm not telling him that.

[+Dave 2,322]

Ok this isn't a one liner but this is by far the best skit ever in Looney Tunes.

 

When Elmer appears, Bugs informs him that the hunter cannot legally shoot the rabbit, since it is Duck Season. Daffy emerges from his hiding place, screaming that Bugs' claim is "an unmitigated frabrication" and that it is actually "Rabbit Season." The argument then continues:

 

Bugs: "Duck season!"

Daffy: "Rabbit season!"

Bugs: "Duck season!"

Daffy: "Rabbit season!"

Bugs: "Duck season!!"

Daffy: "Rabbit season!!"

Bugs: (reversing the flow) "Rabbit season!"

Daffy: "Duck season!!!"

Bugs: "Rabbit season!!!"

Daffy: "I say it's duck season, and I say, FIRE!"

 

Elmer then obliges and shoots the duck's bill causing it to spin and then resting back where it was again. Uninjured, yet embarrassed, Daffy starts the argument back up again.

 

Daffy: "Let's try that again."

Bugs: "Okay."

Daffy: "I'll start it this time."

Bugs: "Right."

Daffy: (grabs Elmer's rifle and points it to Bugs) "Rabbit season!"

Bugs: (pushing Elmer's rifle towards Daffy) "Duck season."

Daffy: (puts the rifle in front of Bugs again) "Rabbit season!!"

Bugs: (spins the rifle clockwise and aims it at himself, again reversing the flow) "Rabbit season."

Daffy: (grabs the rifle and pulls it toward himself) "Duck season!! FIRE!!!"

 

Once again, Elmer obliges and shoots Daffy's bill out of position. And once again uninjured, Daffy suggests Bugs start the argument again.

 

Daffy: "Okay, this time, you start it."

Bugs: "Whatever you say." (aims Elmer's rifle at himself) "Rabbit."

Daffy: (takes the rifle and points it at himself) "DUCK!! FIRE!!!"

 

This time, Daffy head is shot out of position.

 

Daffy: "What's the matter? Everything's upside-down! That's strange. I can't make heads or tails of things."

 

The debate over which animal is actually in season continues for the rest of the short, with Bugs escaping each round unscathed, but Daffy ending up being shot in the bill. None of Bugs' and Daffy's tactics convince Elmer to lay down his gun.

 

Daffy notices a sign on a tree that reads "DUCK SEASON OPEN"

 

Daffy: "Devilishly clever..." (notices Elmer approching) "Uh,oh!" (runs off screen)

 

Elmer continues walking until he runs into Daffy (who is disguised as a rabbit).

 

Daffy: "What's up Doc? Having any luck on those ducks? It's duck season, you know!

 

Bugs then approches disguised as a duck.

 

Bugs: "Just a darn minute! Where do you get that "Duck Season" stuff?"

 

With a look of confidence, Daffy points offscreen.

 

Daffy: "Says so right over there on that sign, you're so smart."

 

The sign now reads "RABBIT SEASON OPEN".

 

Daffy: (still with a look of confidence) "You know what to do with that gun doc..."

 

Elmer shoots Daffy in the bill, blowing his disguise off from the neck up. Elmer has a look of suprise on his face. Daffy quietly stares at the triumphant Bugs with a look of embarrased fury.

 

Daffy: (approches Bugs angrily) "You're dispicable..." Bugs and Daffy then begin reading cookbooks on how Elmer can prepare rabbit or duck delicacies.

Elmer: "I'm sowwy fewwers, but I'm a vegetaweein. I just hunt for the sport of it."

 

Bugs and Daffy then are shot at by Elmer and ecsape.

 

They return later, and Bugs is dressed as a female hunter with Daffy as his dog, but are expoed after Bugs' ear pokes out of the wig he is wearing. The argument continues until, in a notable twist, it turns out to be "ELMER SEASON", prompting the hunter to run and Bugs and Daffy to don hunting gear and inform the audiences to be "vewwy, vewwy quiet...we're hunting Elmers!" Then Daffy laughs like Elmer, which ends the short.

[+Brainless 1]

Ok this isn't a one liner but this is by far the best skit ever in Looney Tunes.

Bugs: "Duck season!"

Daffy: "Rabbit season!"

Bugs: "Duck season!"

Daffy: "Rabbit season!"

Bugs: "Duck season!!"

Daffy: "Rabbit season!!"

Bugs: (reversing the flow) "Rabbit season!"

Daffy: "Duck season!!!"

Bugs: "Rabbit season!!!"

Daffy: "I say it's duck season, and I say, FIRE!".......................

 

Oh dear.. Oh dear.. Oh dear. Enough said.

[Longestpants 1]

This is not a one-liner either, but it is one of the best cartoon skits I have ever seen.

 

Having no success catching Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote decides to pain a tunnel on the side of a cliff, hoping Road Runner will run into it and kill himself. Road Runner then comes along and runs through the tunnel. Wile E. stands dumbfounded for a split second, and then winds up to run through the tunnel. And quick as a flash, BAM, he flattens himself on the cliff wall.

Edited September 19, 2007 by Longestpants

[RunsWithScissors 0]

Nothing beats "Rabbit Season" but I still like:

 

Foghorn: That boy's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

[Guest pfunkmusik]

Foghorn Leghorn (talking about Miss Prissy): "That girl's like the highway between Dallas and Fort Worth. No curves."

 

pfunk

[+Fates 63]

I beginning to think that there is no better one-liners then Foghorn Leghorn. They are truely classic.

 

But...

 

These will be one day as well..

 

THE TICK.

 

"...the diaper came in handy about the time I hit 18 'G's'"

-Ham the Astrochimp

 

"I refuse to accept criticism from someone who's hiding under a table"

-Arthur (The Tick #8)

 

"SPOON!!!!!"

-Tick

[smokey799 1]

I was going to do the sack of wet mice one....CLASSIC!

[smokey799 1]

Pinky and The Brain quotes:

 

The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

 

The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: Um... I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?

 

The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?

(a little while later)Pinky: It doesn't matter what the childern would look like....They'd be loved.

[Viper6 3]

Bullwinkle: "Hey Rocky! watch me pull a rabitt out of my hat,"

Rocky:"That trick NEVER works!"

Bullwinkle: "nothing up my sleeve" Option 1;He pulls a lion out. Option 2;He pulls a Rino out. Option 3;He pulls Rocky out.

Bullwinkle: "Time for me to get a new hat!"

 

Popeye:" I yam whats I yam"

 

Roger Ramjet and his kids...

[JediMaster 451]

"Oh that woman, got a mouth like an outboard motor. All the time, putt putt putt putt putt putt *putting/coughing sounds*"

 

 

Foghorn: "Pay attention, son, look at me when I'm talking to ya."

"Now who's repsons, I say, who's responsible for this unwarranted attack upon my person?"

"Now wait a minute son, you paid no attention, you're starting too big! You gotta walk before you can run. Start small and, look at me when I'm talking to ya son, I say start SMALL and work up! Now try again, boy! Kids nowadays, they know it all."

"Pay attention to me, boy! I'm not just talkin to hear my head roar!"

"Say something! Explain yourself! Your tongue's flappin but no noise is coming out of your big mouth!"

"That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball."

"Now what, I say, what's the big idea bashin me on the noggin with a rolling pin? Clunk enough people and we'll have a nation of lumpheads!"

 

 

Of course, who can forget the classic:

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire! If you refuse me, honey you lose me, and you'll be left alone, oh baby, come on and tell me I'm your own..."

[+Muesli 2,161]

Short scène from Dexter's laboratory

 

Dexter: "Omelette du fromage!! Omelette du fromage!"

 

Dee Dee: "That's all you can say-ay!! That's all you can say-ay!! That's all you can say-ay!! That's all you can say-ay!!"etc.etc.etc.